Yeah So What?

So I haven't updated in awhile eh? It's been forever since I blogged anything, and my information is all outta date, not to mention the fact that my profile picture is all broken and stuff. Pretty sorry state of affairs. Not like anybody reads this thing anymore, anyway. Too busy on Facebook, no doubt, but I'm guilty on that count, myself.

What have I been doing with my time, you may ask? Playing lots of music (B.O.R.'s first show is coming up on June 28th at Logan's pub, woo!), and finally got back into writing Truestar's Fire after a long hiatus.. chapter 8 is nearing completion!

And we moved, and I got a new job with the Government, which I guess I posted about before, but it still feels sorta new. Anyway, that's it for now. I may get around to fixing up the joint sooner or later. But if I don't, I'm sure nobody will mind.

Lots and lots and lots of Changes!

Yeah, I haven't posted in little while, so sue me, ya know??!?!?!??!?!

Anyway, my absenteeism in the blog world is certainly not on account of nothing going on in my life; au contraire! Much has happened since our dear departed Baron found his way to the rainbow bridge, most of it good!

To sum up, Lisa's mom quit her job around the middle of April or so, in preparation for her move to Ontario to help look after her mom, and all of went into overdrive getting the house ready to be moved out of.

The first phase, of course, was a massive cleanup and sorting effort in our garage, which had come to quite closely resemble the scrapyard across the water from my new job (I'll get to that part later). This took some time.. well a lot of time. As anyone who was involved in our last move can attest to, we had a lot of stuff. Much more than even we thought possible, and that was after having gotten rid of what we thought was a lot to begin with. Well, the new place doesn't have a garage, or any kind of appreciable storage, for that matter, so this time around we knew we actually had to get rid of about 95% of our crap. One way or another, it had to go!

Figuring that we actually had a lot of nice stuff that couldn't come with us, we held a series of very successful garage sales, eventually raking in about $1000 total between selling some nice furniture and other items. The rest of it went to the dump, or the salvation army. It was strangely satisfying to throw certain objects into the garbage.. items that had been following us around for so long we couldn't remember ever NOT having it.. but once it was gone it was like a weight was lifted off!

Moving day was actually a rather relaxed and laid back occassion, done over the course of about 12 hours, with frequent breaks. Where the last move involved about 10 people, a giant moving truck (almost a semi-trailer), my step-dad's fullsize pickup truck and two cars, this time, we did the entire thing with just the pickup truck and our car, and it seemed like there was very little to brought with us. It's a nice feeling, like starting over.

Of course, the day after the move I started my new job with the government. The Ministry of Aboriginal Relations and Reconciliation, to be exact. I like my job - it is challenging in ways I haven't really experienced before, but I am learning a lot and the change of pace has been a really positive experience thus far. I even have an interview coming up for a promotion already - that rocks!

I guess there really isn't a lot I can complain about, at least not huge things. I guess I've been a little frustrated lately over the seeming flakiness of some of the people in my life. I mean, it's always frustrating when plans change without warning, or when great ideas fall through, but that's life. I guess my frustration stems from the lack of communication about things, or the lack of basic politeness. How about an explanation for starters, just so that I know what's happening; did I overstep my bounds? Did I somehow piss someone off without knowing it? Unfortunately, since some people seem suddenly unwilling or unable to have a conversation about things, intentions never become known and it feels like jumping to conclusions is the order of the day!

On the other hand - if I ask if you're interested in being involved with something I am doing, you're free to say no! But, if you're going to say "Yes, I'm interested", then be willing to ACTUALLY do what you said you'd do! And if you decide after the fact, that you'd actually rather not, or don't have the time, or whatever, then TELL SOMEBODY! For frick sake, stop saying "Yeah I can make it" and then dropping off the face of the frickin' planet! !@(*)#$*#$)

There you go.. rant over!

All in all, things are good :)

Goodnight, Buddy.. Thanks for Being So Good to Us..

Those of you who know me well know that I seldom cry, but I am crying right now, because Lisa and I lost a very dear and beloved friend and companion last night, in a completely unexpected and sudden turn of events. We knew that his time was growing short, but we expected that we would be the ones to decide when it would happen. Last night that choice was taken away from us -- a small mercy, but one that I can appreciate, having not looked forward to having to make such a difficult decision based on own arbitrary interpretation of his quality of life.

Last night, there were no difficult choices to make, only heart-wrenching certainties. It was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Baron's time to go. I only wish he could have done so without all of the pain that accompanied the hour or so before the end. Last night, around 9:30 pm or so, Baron developed something called Torsion - also called 'The Mother of all dog emergencies', or so I have been reading. Basically, for reasons not fully understood by anyone who has studied the condition, the stomach becomes bloated to several times its normal size and then twists, cutting off the dog's esophagus and the blood supply to the stomach and spleen. From what I've been reading, it is one of the most painful, and THE most urgent medical emergency that a dog can encounter, because it can be fatal within minutes or hours, as well as because of the pain.

I take some solace in the fact that Baron's first instinct when the pain began, and he didn't know what to do about it, was to come to Lisa and I. I know that he knew how much we love him, and that he trusted us, and was comforted by our presence. He wasn't a terribly active dog for the past several months, because of his Degenerative Myelopathy, but he always seemed content just to be in the same room as us, and even though it took a great deal of effort for him to get around some days, he would still get up and come to wherever we were. He was our dog, and we were his humans, and he knew that as well as we did.

I'll always laugh when I think about his goofy "smile", and his one loppy ear. He was a puppy at heart, no matter how old his body got. I'm glad he never lost that, and I'm glad we had the opportunity to have him for the last 3 years or so of his life. They were good years, and I know that he appreciated them as much as we did. He was a good boy to the end, and he deserved to be relieved of his pain.

I guess it was a bit of a no-brainer then, when at the emergency vet clinic they told us what had happened and what his options were. Basically, something had to be done immediately, and the only treatment option was a potentially $7000 surgery, from which he would only have a 50% chance of survival at best. Even if we'd had the money, it would have been a selfish thing to do - he needed to be set free. After seeing the kind of pain he had been in at home and on the way to the vet, we knew it was the right decision. They gave him something for the pain, and some sedative, so when we were with him at the end, he seemed to be relaxed, and not hurting. He went out doing the thing we most loved to watch, when he would get really tired and his eyes would roll back as he fell into a peaceful sleep. It always made us laugh, and maybe he figured he would leave us with a good memory, though he'll have to forgive us if we didn't laugh this time.

Oh well, I'm just rambling now, trying to process everything that has happened in the last 12 hours or so. What else can I say - it was sucky, crappy, shitty night, and I'm really hurting right now. I don't know if dogs go anywhere when they die, but I hope I'll get to see him again one day.

We All Have Something That Digs at Us

I heard this song for the first time last week sometime - it's the new single on the radio by the band Incubus, and it is just an incredible song. I just love the honesty of the lyrics and how well it applies to my life.

I also can't help but think of my wife, Lisa, when I listen to it. This song pretty well sums up our relationship...

Incubus - Dig

We all have a weakness

But some of ours are easier to identify.

Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness;

We'll make a pact to never speak that word again

Yes you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us,

At least we dig each other

So when weakness turns my ego up

I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another

Dig me up from under what is covering

The better part of me

Sing this song

Remind me that we'll always have each other

When everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness

That cleverly attaches and multiplies

No matter how hard we try.

We all have something that digs at us,

At least we dig each other

So when sickness turns my ego up

I know you'll act as a clever medicine.

If I turn into another

Dig me up from under what is covering

The better part of me.

Sing this song!

Remind me that we'll always have each other

When everything else is gone.

Oh each other....

When everything else is gone.

The Die Has Been Cast...

As I was writing the title, I got to thinking that I really didn't know what the original source of that expression was. I've always thought of it as being related to throwing the dice in a game of chance - once the die is cast, fate is out of one's own hands and in the hands of, well, fate. Seems fitting. I also realized that this also fits in the context of die-casting metal; once you have cast the die, the shape of whatever you are making is set (but not in stone, in steel!). So the expression serves as a statement of inevitability about one's circumstances. The decision has been made, and there is no going back.

I guess in my case, either of these variations could apply - in one sense, a decision has been made, and is now going forward regardless of any second guessing on the part of Lisa and I. In the other sense, we really don't know exactly what to expect, but whatever the outcome ends up as, it is no longer in our hands.

This is all to say that we have made the big, and fairly heavy decision to move again. It was a really hard thing to do, because, unlike the rat-infested mould kingdom we left the last time, we love our house, and we love our town. We love our quiet, little neighbourhood, and we love that we can walk out our front door and have everything we need within easy reach of where our feet can take us. We love the airplanes flying over head, and we love our yard.

But, we are giving up all of that, less because we want to, and more because we have to. With Lisa's mom's store having gone belly-up (no fault of hers I might add), she is left with the prospect of not having a job in the near future. With her mother sick with alzheimer's, she is faced with the prospect of not having a mom in the near future. So she is going to go live with her sister and help look after her mom for awhile, in Ontario. I think it's the best thing she could do right now, but it had put Lisa and I in an uncomfortable position, because without having her significant help with our $1200 rent, there is no way we can stay in that house, not and survive as a couple. Even as things are now, money is always tight, and constantly on my mind.

I hate having to be stressed about finances everytime we go out to eat, or go to a movie, nevermind the sheer financial hell that the mere mention of going on a holiday anywhere inevitably creates.

Barry, my step-dad, said some very wise things to us when we were discussing all of this with he and my mom; he said that as much as we may love our house, and where we are at geographically speaking, all of that is far less important with how we are doing as a couple, and whether we are really living and enjoying our life. We can't live without money - it is a both a blessing and a curse, but it is also necessary. In the state we are in, we have a lot of debts, and a lot of expenses, and a lot of bills -- to really live and enjoy life is made difficult, if not impossible, in the financial state we are in, so if we really want to get ahead in life, and enjoy it, and live it, we may need to sacrifice our nice house, and all the rest of that, to get ourselves in a position of freedom.

Toward that end, Barry suggested to my mom that Lisa and I rent out the bottom floor suite of their house - which, ironically, is something we had actually been gunning for before we moved into our current abode. To do so would be advantageous for everybody involved, and would give us a really great opportunity to offload a lot of our expenses and actually start to pay off our debts. We both realize that this is the opportunity to "start over again" in many ways, that we have been seeking for a long time.

I feel like Lisa and I have been battling in the arena ever since we got married, duking our way through battle after battle to stay alive - there have been times of triumph and times of defeat, but we've taken a lot of setbacks, and we're exhausted. This is our chance to take a breather and step into the practice ring for awhile to get in shape for the real battles to come. It means stepping away from the glories of the arena for awhile, but in the end we'll be able to come back and win.

In preparation for all of this - we are getting rid of about 98% of our crap. Having a garage sale in March, and giving a lot of our furniture to my brother, who is going to be moving out of the suite we'll be moving into. We have a lot of stuff that needs sorting and either selling or just junking.. perhaps once we get a solid inventory I'll post some of it up and take offers haha :)

May 1st is the big day when we say bye to Sidney, for awhile at least.

The Two-Faced Church of Something-or-other

I can definately admit that I rely entirely too much on my own brain.. although on the same token, I think the church is plagued with people who don't use their brains enough..

The frightening part is that it is those ones who are running the show.

There is a balance that needs to be achieved, however I don't think it is possible to do that in an organized setting.. too much politics.. too many people with double standards.. too many "leaders" who have convinced themselves that they have kicked their "sin" habit

It's like the whole Ted Haggard thing.. I read an interview with the assistant pastor who took over for him, and they claimed that after three weeks of intensive counselling, he is suddenly a "cured" heterosexual and drug free (after decades of secret gay love affairs and meth binges).. which is just.. beyond pretentious, and ridiculous.

The pastor went on to talk about (rightly so) that God does not see sin on a bell curve, and that one sin is no worse than any other sin to God. Almost in the next breath he says that "of course, Ted Haggard will never be allowed into any ministry leadership ever again - he's banned."

Like WTH? So here is where logic takes me, and I believe this is more accurate than most Christians would like to believe.. but if pastors truly believe that all sins are equal, and yet they will ban someone from leadership for coming out as gay (sinning), especially if they believe the person to be "cured" as this guy claims, then in order for them to reconcile their own leadership role it must mean that somewhere inside their small, deluded heads they believe themselves to be free of sinning. Sure, they'll talk a blue streak about how badly they used to sin in their pasts, but clearly, since they are now worthy to be pastors and church leaders, they must have somehow learned how NOT to sin, and are now perfect.

So I have to ask myself - SHOULD a person like Ted Haggard be allowed to get back onto the pulpit? I guess my question is - why not? What is it that seperates one sinful lifestyle from another? Find me a pastor who isn't living a sinful lifestyle and I'll buy you an island. The problem we have decided that there are sins that are acceptable and sins that are not, which is garbage.

It can definately be argued that there is a difference between "sinning" and living a "sinful lifestyle", but when it comes down to it, I don't believe there is a difference. We are ALL living in sin, some of us just do it in less obvious ways. And that is the key word I think - "Less obvious" .. it is more a question of PR than it is about anything scriptural -- we don't like how it LOOKS for a gay man to be a pastor, or even in church for that matter, because their sin is on display, as opposed to all of the secret sins that every other person lives in..

A good friend of mine made the argument that "just because you get angry at someone once in the week doesn't mean you are living in sin unless you don't recognize it and continue to harbor bad feelings for that person...if you realize it and ask for forgiveness from the person and God...that is a lot different then being in an affair whether homo or hetero." And I do believe she has a point.

My thoughts on this, however, are that being angry isn't necessarily a sin. Living an angry lifestyle is. So if getting angry at someone "once a week" is a downfall for someone, that means that they are getting angry at other people at other times during the week, and inevitably every day of that person's life they are being angry at people. That's a sinful lifestyle.

The funny thing is, I have heard pastors use examples out of their own lives for comic effect, like storie about habitual road-rage, for example. I'll admit, road rage can make for some awfully funny stories, but the fact that these stories are used for comic effect demonstrates how badly deluded we are, that we actually have put a thing like "habitual road rage" in the "acceptable sin" category. I doubt anyone would laugh if a pastor started telling funny stories about how gay he is.

Here's another example - in my experience Church women tend to be habitual gossips, however, as much as a Christian will admit that gossiping is a sin, when put to it, we will accept a woman as Godly despite her "little gossiping habit" much more readily than we would accept a homosexual man for his "little gay sex habit".

Again, what's the difference?

It Never Rains But it Pours / The Eyes Have It!

So this is a double post (thus the two titles) - like two posts in one.. I was meaning to post about the first thing earlier but never got around to it, so now I'm just going to put all of my news into one! See - simple.



It Never Rains But it Pours


On sunday my band The Black Orchid Rebellion finally secured a functional jam-space in downtown Victoria and had our first REAL jam in there. For the first time I really saw and heard how good we are going to be live, and just how well the three of us actually work together, as we jammed it up really well - the songs seemed to come together very naturally and everyone seemed on top of their game. We even did a little arranging / writing on one song called 'Contagious', which previously hadn't had a lot of work done on it.

We kicked that songs butt, let me tell you. I've been borrowing Spencer's Big Muff overdrive pedal, which is a great pedal for putting a really cool sounding distortion on bass, and that ended up being an overriding theme of the song - a simple, smooth, and crunchy-sounding bass line underneath an almost Metric-esque drum-beat and cleanly distorted guitar turning dirty around the end of the song. Anyway, it was really good. Hopefully we will have some recordings soon, as Spencer moved his recording computer in there.

In other music news, the other band I am playing with finally had a full-out jam session last night in Brian's home studio. This was both of our first times playing with Shayne, the drummer, who is actually very, very good. Brian is a great guitar player as well, and we had a really good time jamming out some sweet tunes, including one of my own devising (I came up with a bass line that the other two totally built upon, ending in an alternatingly almost industrial / surf sounding song. Sounds weird, but it worked.) For a little taste of what we are doing, you can check out Brian's myspace page. The other cool thing is that we are going to most likely share the jam-space with B.O.R. , which will make it a lot cheaper for everyone - especially if this band ends up with four or five members as we are planning. $200 split between seven people is much better than split between three!









The cool thing is that I am getting so damned inspired musically lately, just in simple things like my own personal sound as a bassist. Having been listening to a lot of Muse lately, I totally want to be a bassist that makes a real creative impression by being central to the sound of whatever band I'm in.. to that end I have been playing with various effects and techniques - that Big Muff pedal I was talking about puts out some great sounds, and I also went into Long & McQuade to try out something I had never even really heard of previously, called a Bass Synth pedal (specifically the Electro-Harmonix Micro Bass Synthesizer) and I was totally blow away by the sounds this thing can come out with! It's like playing a synthesizer through my bass guitar.. just plain cool, and it will make me different than 99% of all the other bassists out there. I may not be a terribly technical player -- I like to play simply, and drive the song as much as possible (although there are times when I like to add interest to the low-end as well), but I want to make whatever I am involved with sound different, and cool. Too bad this thing is so expensive, but it's worth saving for. Other thing I need to get is a good compressor - a mainstay of any bassist for fattening up the tone.

So, to sum up - you can expect to hear some cool things out of my bands in the near future, I think!








The Eyes Have It!



In other news, my on-going eye-tearing problem has hopefully (cross my fingers) been taken care of today, after much long frustration and repeated eye-wiping for the past year and a half or so. I finally got in to see an Opthalmologist a couple of weeks ago, and he basically said that my persistent tearing was likely the result of either allergies or a blocked tear-duct. So I tried some drops for ten days or so, which did not solve the problem.


Today I went in to have my tear-duct irrigated in the hopes of discovering the blockage and fixing it - this was an interesting procedure, as the opthalmologist had to use freezing drops and then stuck a couple of different probes into my tear duct to "dilate" (stretch) the tear duct, and he noticed at that point that my tear duct was extremely tight, which was possibly the true cause of the problem. Anyway, after he had sufficiently stretched the sucker out he stuck another syringe-like probe in there and squeezed water or something through there. If there were no blockages I would feel the liquid draining down the back of throat, and sure enough I felt it.. and it was a strange, strange sensation let me tell you.


So we ruled out a blockage, however the doctor believed the problem was likely happening because my duct was so tight, and he said that the dilation might help for a day or two, or maybe a month, but would likely not fix it permanently. The best solution, in his opinion was a "three snip" procedure, in which he would freeze my eye (with a needle), and then use some tiny scissors to make a triangular incision (thus the three snips) to enlarge the tear duct. He said I could wait to see how the dilation worked, or he could just do the snipping right now, and I opted to just get it over with, as I have had quite enough of the tearing and wiping by now.


Probably the most painful part was the needle he had to stick in there to freeze it.. Lisa stayed and watched the whole thing, and she reported that my face while he was putting the needle in was the worst part for her. Yeah, it hurt, I will admit, and probably largely due to the fact that it was in my friggin' eye! Then he went about the snipping, which was a little uncomfortable in parts, but wasn't too terrible. Didn't take very long, at least.






The doctor seemed to appreciate the irony of the shirt I chose to wear to his office, which Lisa scored me on the weekend, though it seemed to make him slightly nervous... not really.



Anyway, my eye is kinda swollen and a little sore, but I will survive. I decided that it was probably not in my best interest to drive to work though. And besides, I have decided to make it a personal policy that any day in which I am subject to any sort of surgery, whether minor or major, is an automatic sick day.



Well, there's the news!

Ebay... Wins and Losses?

Recently, Lisa and I have embarked upon a sort of education foray into the world of selling on Ebay.. we could really use some extra money, and there seems to be a lot of money to be made buying a selling things on Ebay, if you know what you're doing. Hell, we even bought a book on the subject and everything.

We've started out by putting a few things we already had up for auction (Three nice dresses and three 164-1994 Commemorative Collection GI Joes - in their original package!) to test the waters as it were. So far we have not had a great deal of success.. the GI Joes each have one bid.. of 99 cents each.. and the dresses have no bids, although there are a few watchers.. hopefully they will start bidding closer to the closing date. In any case though - we need to find some stuff is a little more predictable.. electronics maybe.. to sell. If we could save a few bucks to buy some wholesale lots of things we might actually be able to turn a decent profit.. but we'll cross that bridge when we have the funds to build it, I guess.

In other news, though, I was awarded a refund of $88.07 by Paypal, after I got scammed by an Ebay seller into buying a bass guitar pedal that he never sent. It's a shame though.. I really wanted that pedal... oh well, you win some and you lose some.

Wait -- when do we start winning some again?

Job Update!

Are you ready for this????!?!??!?!?!
























Yeah, I didn't get the f***ing job. Yay me.

Yay!

My cabinet is here! My cabinet is here! My cabinet is here!

(That's the monstrous box with the 4 speakers in it, as depicted in my previous post)!! I'm going to pick it up after work! Unfortunately, the header has yet to arrive, so the cabinet will, for the moment, be, well, useless :( But hey at least it's here! I suppose there is an off chance the header will arrive today at some point as well.. it's pretty well due, I think..

UPDATE --

I spoke to Canada Post and apparently the amp has been in customs for the last week and just today was accepted and shipped to Richmond. Apparently I can expect it sometime next week. Too bad I won't be able to take it to the "All Nighter" tonight, but them's the breaks when you order stuff off of eBay :/

Can You Feel the Mountains Tremble?

Aha! I tricked you into thinking that this was some sort of esoteric post about something religious! Or maybe I didn't.. I just meant because the title is that of a popular praise song, which I have now shamelessly taken in for my own alterior agenda of destruction!! MUAHAHA!

No, actually it's not that either.. this is, in fact, a BASS-related post.. which is why the reference to mountains trembling is appropriate.. because THE MOUNTAINS ARE GOING TO BE TREMBLING REAL, REAL SOON, BABY, YEAH!

*Ahem*. Pardon moi, allow me to explain. I'm in a band, see, and I play bass. I think most of you knew all of that. Anyway, my big focus lately has been to buy a new bass amp, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I want something that really sounds GOOD, not just adequate, and something built for what I like. There are a few names that are synonymous with REALLY REALLY good bass amplification, my favourite of these being Gallien-Krueger, with Ampeg a close second. Not long ago I happened to become quite enamoured with the idea of buying a GK amp header on EBay, as the prices on there are quite a bit better than what you get here. I ended up buying a Gallien-Krueger Backline (their entry level, but from what I hear, this amp is really good) 600, which is a 300 Watt Amp, said to be VERY nice. Someday I'm sure I will upgrade to a 1001RB or something, but for smaller venues (clubs, etc) this is going to be GREAT! And, even after shipping and the exchange rate I still saved $100 over the local price.


Of course, a nice header is nothing without the cabinet (aka speakers) to go with it. You can amplify somethng till the cows come home, but without any speakers, no one is going to hear a dang thing. Thus, I made it clear to my family that what I really wanted to Christmas was purchasing power in form of monies or gift cards that would enable me to get a nice cabinet. And come through they did! I was looking for a particular Ampeg cabinet, but I couldn't find it anywhere, however I was able to get (well it is on order and I hope it will be in within a couple of days) this Gallien-Krueger 410SBX cabinet, which should match the head very nicely and by all reports sounds absolutely incredible. Needless to say, I am looking forward to pounding some air with this sucka!


All this to say one thing: if you feel the mountains trembling sometime in the next week or so, you now know why! Cheers!

It's Just a Matter of Time Now...

Well, I've just now finished my second (hour long) interview for the Quality Assurance Supervisor job here at work -- I think it went quite well, and I am confident that if it is a job I am meant to have, God will put favour on me in the mind of my boss, and also potential future-boss (yeah, make sense of that, will you?).

I still have to go back to a dream that Lisa had way back when we were talking about whether or not I should take a job at West or another position that, at the time, looked better. She dreamed of me in an empty white room, waiting. There was one door, and it was closed, but I went and opened it and behind it there was another door, and another, and another.. the doors just kept opening for me. She felt this was West, for some reason. Then she saw me in the same white room, with the same door. This time the door was opened for me, by some hideous looking man, and behind the door it was all just black -- I walked through the door and never came out again.

Certainly, my experience at West has been one of opening doors, and hopefully this is the next one in the series!

Anyway, if everyone could just be praying about the outcome, that would be great!

Two or Three... Hundred?

So what is it about Christian(ist)s exactly that always makes them want to simplify the complicated parts of the Gospel while complicating the simple parts? It is a strange phenomenon that seems to me, to have led to endless faulty doctrines, teachings, and belief systems within the church, resulting in sermon after sermon of cherry-picked scriptures from this book and that book and this book over here, that we fit together assuming they are all talking about the exact same things despite the disparate cultures, eras, and authors that they came out of.

When one comes across a verse in the Bible recording a conversation that Jesus had with a Jewish person regarding the sacrifices he was making in the Jewish temple, why is it our impulse to grab onto those words and throw them at each other, saying "See! SEE!! Jesus said you need to do it like THIS!", while conveniently overlooking the fact that neither party in the discussion is A)Living in the first century Roman Empire, B) Jewish, C) Attending a Jewish Temple, D) Making a sacrifice, or E) the individual the Jesus was addressing in the passage. These are all important questions that really do need to be contexutalized before any applicable meaning can be derived from the passage. To blithely look at such a verse and take it literally, or worse, start bashing people over the head with it, is completely disgraceful, deluded, and sinful, in my humble opinion. And yet, this is the way it has been in pretty well 100% of every church service or Bible study I have ever been a part of -- why?

It is equally eggregious, to me, when someone takes a passage out of the old testament, reads it verbatim and then says "Look - God said this, and this is what we are supposed to be doing!". By that twisted logic, we should be going out onto the streets and slaughtering every man, woman, and child we meet who doesn't worship Jehovah. And basically this would also mean nuking the bejeezus out of the middle-east until all the ungodly muslims have been extinctified.

However, we don't do this (at least some of us don't.. although certain American politicians seem to be leaning dangerously in this direction lately). For some reason it is okay to reject the old testament's admonitions to genocide, while embracing the condemnation of people with tattoos, or loud music, or alternative lifestyles. Again I ask -- why? Not that there is no applicable teaching to be had out of the old testament, but it HAS to be interpreted with a cultural, linguistic, stylistic, chronistic context that leads to discovering the underlying truth behind it.

Now to get back to the subject of the post title --- on the other hand, we also have this bizarre and opposite tendency to over-analyze and insert fictional meaning to entirely straight-forward issues, and things that Jesus said which really give us very little reason to delve further into. Jesus was many things, but I do not believe he was ambiguous -- evasive perhaps, when people were looking for easy answers, but not ambiguous. He said what he meant, basically.

Here is an example of what I mean:

"For where two or three gather together because they are mine, I am there among them.” (Matt 18:20)

It is a verse that pretty well every Christian knows, and it is a very important verse, but it is also very simple. And when I say that Jesus wasn't ambigious, what I mean is that in this passage, he specifically uses the number 'two or three'. Not 'twenty or thirty' or 'two or three hundred', and neither did he say 'two or three is alright, but you're better off with seventy'. I believe that something very specific is being established by Jesus here.

You know the really funny thing about this verse is that the times I hear it repeated most often is when it is being used as an excuse. Someone calls a prayer meeting or a Bible study and when only a small handful of people show up, the organizer looks around and flippantly says "Well he did say 'when two or three are gathered'", almost like they are apologizing for something. We've read far more into this than Jesus intended, and instead of placing the emphasis on the 'two or three' as being a desirable result, we've taken this to be a minimum threshold.

My theory is this: What if Jesus actually meant what he said? What if he was trying to get something specific across with his words? While this verse is usually taken to mean that two or three is the minimum number of people required for Christ to make an appearance, I think that Jesus was actually trying to tell us something else.

I think he was trying to tell us that it is in the intimate moments with people that we love and care about, that we will find him. I know it's always been true for me. More and more I am realizing that our sunday church services and fancy programs serve only to distract us from experiencing Christ in a personal way.

Often times we look at these huge venues where people are dancing and singing and "praising" as one body and say "Wow, the spirit is really moving here".

No it isn't. At least not usually. The fact is there is no big mystery to these occurances - these massive corporate moves of the spirit. It all comes down to a very well-documented effect known as mob mentality. It is a condition in which people cease to be individuals, lose their ability to think and act for themselves, and get swept along with whatever the rest of the group is doing. When the mob is doing something unseemly, we call out the police to go dismantle it with body armour, batons, and tear gas. When the mob is falling over, weeping, jumping up and down, etc, at an overly-emotional worship service, we call it 'revival' or being 'slain in the spirit'. Not that these things can't be valid, but not with the frequency we see it.

The reason I say this is because I have stood at the front of the church, with my bass strapped on, playing the best that I can, more times than I can count, and what I have observed, time and time again, is this: when the congregation is enthused about what is happening, everybody sings and everybody dances, yet when the congregation is indifferent, everyone stands around with their arms crossed. And at the end of the day, they go home and forget whatever it was they felt earlier, because the vast majority of the time there was nothing there for them to personally connect to, anyway. They got to sit down and listen to someone talk about things that more than likely had little or no relevence to their day-to-day life. Woo.

The times that I can really remember feeling like God was there, talking to me, are the times when I am with my wife, maybe at a friend's house, talking about why we fight, or why we're angry, or why we're sad. Talking about what God's words really means to the rat's nest inside my mind, quietly praying for things that are on our hearts and minds, and accepting those things, regardless of the right and wrong of it. Letting God, not people, sort us out.

And The Winner Is...

...Me!

Yes, National Novel Writing Month is officially at a close for 2006, and I can officially count myself among the winners, thanks to my astonishing feat of writing 52,000 words in 30 days! That's an average of 1733.33 per day! Woo!

The truly amazing part about it is that I actually ended up with a pretty decent story after all was said and done - I actually like it, despite all that I was worried about it ending up as a lot of crap. It has been partially posted at http://coldbloodnovel.blogspot.com and I will be working up putting the whole thing up there with a slightly easier-to-read format maybe today sometime.

Well that's all the news for now...

Won't You Be My Baby?

So, part of the fallout of starting a band that is destined to go somewhere (in my humble opinion) is that I have started to take a really serious look at the kind of equipment I'm using. Thanks to my patron saint of Bass-Playing (Mike P -- you know I love you man), I have a beautiful Fender American Deluxe V (5-String) Jazz Bass. It sounds great, but isn't really built for cutting through a heavy-rock mix, for whatever reason. Not that it isn't workable.. it most definately is, but I've been really thinking about eventually getting something that is really built for the style of music we're playing.
After having done a little research into what my sort of iconic hard-rock bass players, I have found my new axe -- ala Jon Cooper of Skillet. The Traben Phoenix Custo, 5-String. They sound great, look great, and aren't very expensive, compared to other instruments of their calibre. Check 'er out..

Yeah baby!

Oh Hell Yes!

At last, The Black Orchid Rebellion has found what it was looking for -- a drummer! And a damn good one, at that. In fact it just so happens I was able to get back in touch with my old drummer from Pure Silver, who I've been wanting to playing with again for a long time. Today, Spencer and I went over to his house and jammed the ever-loving crap out of his tiny jamming-room.

Anyway, to make a long story short, we have a drummer now: Welcome to the band, Steve Hawkes!

Coldblood!

The frantic writing buzz of the NaNoWriMo has begun, and my novel is off to a good start, at 5,003 words in the past 2 and a half days! I've started a new blog to post my novel as I go along, you can check it out at http://coldbloodnovel.blogspot.com

In other new, The Black Orchid Rebellion is coming along.. we still need a dang drummer though, so that we actually get our sound solidified and start gigging. Expect to hear more about both ventures very soon!

Attack of the Black Orchid Rebellion

You may be asking yourself - "What is the Black Orchid Rebellion?", perhaps assuming I am about to launch into some sort of deep Biblio-spiritual diatribe on God-only-knows-what.. but.. I'm not.

The Black Orchid Rebellion is actually a rock band.. alternative in style.. with some absolutely fantastic songs, a really great guy at the helm... and a new, kick-arse bass player :)

Yes, that's right, it's me, and I am really frickin excited about this, because my new friend and bandmate Spencer Lillo is an amazing song-writer and we're going to have some absolutely fantastic material to work with. Here's a little sampling for you to enjoy!

http://www.myspace.com/theblackorchidrebellion

Oh, and one more thing -- we need a drummer.. so if you know someone (preferably a Christian, but depends on the individual), or if you are a drummer looking for work. And you don't suck. And you have your own drums. And not the Fisher-Price kind. Then please let me know!

NaNoWriMo!

I am officially a participant in the NaNoWriMo - that is the National Novel Writing Month, in which thousands of wannabe-novelists attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in no more than 30 days, between November 1 and November 30. All who make the 50,000 word threshold are declared winners!

I'm cooking up something cool for my NaNo Novel, so wish me luck, and if it seems like I'm not terribly social next month, you'll know why!

If anyone is interested in joining me, go check out NaNoWriMo.org to see how it all works, and sign up! You can add me as a writing buddy or check out my writer profile as well!

And, there is a local group of NaNoWriMo authors getting together every sunday in downtown Victoria - the next meeting is this sunday, 2:30 pm at the Solstice cafe, though the regular time and place has yet to be decided upon. I'm going to look into getting a local group together on the Peninsula as well, so let me know if you are interested!

The Chosen Ones?

I've always been taught that Christians are God's children - his chosen people, as it were, as we are the ones who are connected with him through Christ; in essence we are the human element in his final covenant with mankind. But something that has always bothered me is how Christians still refer to Israel or the Jews as still being God's chosen people and that God's eternal favour must always rest upon them for some reason unbeknownst to me.

So which is it? Are God's chosen people the Jews, or are they the Christians (not to suggest that a Jew cannot be a Christian, but when I say 'Jew' I mean in the orthodox religious sense rather than the cultural observance), because it strikes me as silly to suggest that it can be both, seeing as how the two factions basically represent spritual notions that are diametrically opposed to each other (i.e. Jesus IS the son of God / the Messiah vs. Jesus was NOT messiah and such beliefs are tantamount to heresy.)

It seems to me, and is my interpretation of the Old Testament covenant versus the New Testament convenant, that the racial inheiritance of the Jews as the children and chosen people of Yahweh in the Old Testament (and subsequently doctrines and practices of the Jewish people up until the birth of Christ) were basically a symbol, or a foreshadowing of the SPIRITUAL inheiritance that would be brought about by the death and resurrection of Christ. The position of the Jews in the Old Testament effectively became the position of Christ's disciples in the New Testament (and into current times).

What this amounts to for current-time Christians is an interesting conundrum: Christendom (also spelled "Christianism"), as the political and religious institution that it most assuredly is, seems bent on defending the honour of Israel against her enemies at all costs, almost as if, in any given conflict, the Israeli people are incapable of doing wrong and we must pray for Israel to prevail because they are "God's chosen people".

In reality, the state of Israel as it stands today is a militaristic Zionist nightmare of extremist proportions with a long history of oppressing the Palestinian people in all sorts of horrible ways. The Israeli military is guilty of any number of homicidal and basically genocidal practices which, thanks mostly to the Christianist West, has the most technologically advances war machine to be found anywhere in the world, including (but not limited to) nuclear weapons and other WMDs.

Strangely enough, while the U.S., U.N., etc love to demonize countries like Iran and try to bully them into giving up their rights to nuclear energy, no one ever balks at all of the nukes possessed by dear old Israel.

I found it hard to swallow Israel's latest escapades against Lebanon, and the way in which the US backed them. It was basically the equivalent of some Canadian splinter group (let's say the FLQ, for instance) kidnapping a couple of U.S. police officers and the U.S. responding by bombing the living crap out of every major Canadian city and killing thousands of people who literally had nothing at all to do with anything.

And yet, surprise, surprise, most of the Christians I know were praying up a storm for poor, embattered Israel, God's favourite, chosen country. I just don't get it, and personally I think it is a deception of the enemy in the worst possible way.

Upon continuing my little exploration of the Gospels the other day I came upon this verse, which seems to confirm what I have been thinking regarding the passing of God's favour from the political state of Israel to the spiritual Church of Christ - it is the parable of the Evil Farmers found in Matthew 21:33-44:

33"Now listen to this story. A certain landowner planted a vineyard, built a wall around it, dug a pit for pressing out the grape juice, and built a lookout tower. Then he leased the vineyard to tenant farmers and moved to another country. 34At the time of the grape harvest he sent his servants to collect his share of the crop. 35But the farmers grabbed his servants, beat one, killed one, and stoned another. 36So the landowner sent a larger group of his servants to collect for him, but the results were the same.
37"Finally, the owner sent his son, thinking, `Surely they will respect my son.'
38"But when the farmers saw his son coming, they said to one another, `Here comes the heir to this estate. Come on, let's kill him and get the estate for ourselves!' 39So they grabbed him, took him out of the vineyard, and murdered him.
40"When the owner of the vineyard returns," Jesus asked, "what do you think he will do to those farmers?"
41The religious leaders replied, "He will put the wicked men to a horrible death and lease the vineyard to others who will give him his share of the crop after each harvest."
42Then Jesus asked them, "Didn't you ever read this in the Scriptures?
`The stone rejected by the builders has now become the cornerstone. This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous to see.'
43What I mean is that the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a nation that will produce the proper fruit. 44Anyone who stumbles over that stone will be broken to pieces, and it will crush anyone on whom it falls.