Well we took Baron into the vet today with every intention of having the dirty deed done, but after talking with our vet and really evaluating how we were feeling and also how Baron has been, we've decided to wait a little while longer. From the vet's obervations and also from what we have told her of our own observations he is actually not suffering the way we had thought, and though he is, as she put it "handicapped", he isn't in pain and isn't really suffering in the way human beings might suffer from similar ailments.
It is true that he will probably not be around a whole heck of a lot longer before his back legs really become paralyzed, and that is definately where the line would be drawn for us. Anyway, for now, our old boy is alive and kicking. And we found his favourite toy, to. Amazing how a dog can perk up at the sight of his Koool Kong :)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Home Sweet Home?
As anyone who has been reading may have noticed, I stopped camp journaling at Day 4, which was due to the flakiness of the wireless internet up at camp. Seems somebody installed a new antenna and nobody was able to connect wirelessly for some reason. So I will be attempting to summarize the last few days once I have had a little time to unpack it all myself.
It hasn't been a terribly easy transition, the coming home. I'm not a person who has a terribly easy time expressing or feeling comfortable with feeling a lot of emotions, but yesterday, and more last night I found myself unable to stop myself (much as I tried) from sobbing, even if I did do my best to hold my friggin breath to stop from sounding like it.
It was hard to say goodbye to the kids yesterday, especially a few of them in particular who I really connected with in a special way, and I'll admit I really felt like breaking down yesterday as they were leaving camp, but I sucked it up. The leaving, itself, was difficult - the routine over the last week is something I have come to depend on. Always somewhere to be and something to be doing, whether it be playing music for the kids or practicing, manning the Zunga (SO much fun), washing pots and pans or whatever else. And now that I'm gone there is a feeling of empty aimlessness.
I come home to find that my beautiful old dog, who my wife and I rescued at the ripe old age of 10, and who has been slowly succumbing to degenerative myelopathy (think of a doggy version of MS or ALS) has been rapidly going downhill in the week since I've been away, and now we have an appointment on monday to have him put down because it has become obvious that he just isn't happy in his own skin anymore. We love our dog, and I know that I personally have had a real struggle with the idea of putting him down because he isn't in any pain - he is just slowly becoming paralyzed. He poops and has now begun peeing on his own bed, or on the kitchen floor, unable to hold it or unaware of the need to due to the lack of feeling in his back-side. For a breed as proud and regal as the GSD, my wife points out, it must be a very shameful thing to go to the bathroom in ones own territory, and with no way to bury it or hide it from potential enemies. In other words, it probably drives him quite nuts. Whenever he does it there is a certain look of deep shame that comes over him, his ears droop down and sometimes he starts to shake as though we are going to yell at him or hit him. We never do, though, and never have, at least not for things like that which are out of his control.
As if that weren't enough, I get back from a week serving God in the best capacity I can think of, by minstering to kids, some of which whom really needed a week to just kick back and be kids and have fun, and also to have some exposure to a God who really loves them and wants them to know that. And what do I find but some hateful, left-leaning atheist creeps saying some really awful, hurtful and baseless accusations about Ron and myself, insinuating (or in Ron's case openly stating) their belief that only a pedophile would be "excited" about spending a week with children. Pardon my french, but WHAT THE FUCK??!! Where does this kind of self-indulgent trash get off saying this sort of thing about people he knows nothing about? I have to wonder what is wrong with a person whose natural assumptions are that all adults who enjoy spending time with children are also out to sexually abuse them. It actually creeps me out quite badly.
So yeah, a lot going on. A lot of really emotionally difficult stuff going on. Usually I have no problem being strong and stuffing it down, but I just feel like I'm being hit on all sides. Anyway, it isn't all bad, just really taxing and draining I guess. I'll write more about camp when I have a chance.
It hasn't been a terribly easy transition, the coming home. I'm not a person who has a terribly easy time expressing or feeling comfortable with feeling a lot of emotions, but yesterday, and more last night I found myself unable to stop myself (much as I tried) from sobbing, even if I did do my best to hold my friggin breath to stop from sounding like it.
It was hard to say goodbye to the kids yesterday, especially a few of them in particular who I really connected with in a special way, and I'll admit I really felt like breaking down yesterday as they were leaving camp, but I sucked it up. The leaving, itself, was difficult - the routine over the last week is something I have come to depend on. Always somewhere to be and something to be doing, whether it be playing music for the kids or practicing, manning the Zunga (SO much fun), washing pots and pans or whatever else. And now that I'm gone there is a feeling of empty aimlessness.
I come home to find that my beautiful old dog, who my wife and I rescued at the ripe old age of 10, and who has been slowly succumbing to degenerative myelopathy (think of a doggy version of MS or ALS) has been rapidly going downhill in the week since I've been away, and now we have an appointment on monday to have him put down because it has become obvious that he just isn't happy in his own skin anymore. We love our dog, and I know that I personally have had a real struggle with the idea of putting him down because he isn't in any pain - he is just slowly becoming paralyzed. He poops and has now begun peeing on his own bed, or on the kitchen floor, unable to hold it or unaware of the need to due to the lack of feeling in his back-side. For a breed as proud and regal as the GSD, my wife points out, it must be a very shameful thing to go to the bathroom in ones own territory, and with no way to bury it or hide it from potential enemies. In other words, it probably drives him quite nuts. Whenever he does it there is a certain look of deep shame that comes over him, his ears droop down and sometimes he starts to shake as though we are going to yell at him or hit him. We never do, though, and never have, at least not for things like that which are out of his control.
As if that weren't enough, I get back from a week serving God in the best capacity I can think of, by minstering to kids, some of which whom really needed a week to just kick back and be kids and have fun, and also to have some exposure to a God who really loves them and wants them to know that. And what do I find but some hateful, left-leaning atheist creeps saying some really awful, hurtful and baseless accusations about Ron and myself, insinuating (or in Ron's case openly stating) their belief that only a pedophile would be "excited" about spending a week with children. Pardon my french, but WHAT THE FUCK??!! Where does this kind of self-indulgent trash get off saying this sort of thing about people he knows nothing about? I have to wonder what is wrong with a person whose natural assumptions are that all adults who enjoy spending time with children are also out to sexually abuse them. It actually creeps me out quite badly.
So yeah, a lot going on. A lot of really emotionally difficult stuff going on. Usually I have no problem being strong and stuffing it down, but I just feel like I'm being hit on all sides. Anyway, it isn't all bad, just really taxing and draining I guess. I'll write more about camp when I have a chance.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Camp Journal : Day Four (Part 1)
Energy: High
Relaxation: Good
Fingers: Rallying
Stings from unidentified insect type beast: 1
Number of hops: Several
Pots / Pans Washed: A babillion
Swings on the Zunga: 5 or 6
Another good day at camp - the heat was significantly lower today than in previous days and overall it was just a nice temperature all around. Sleep was about 2 million times better than previously experienced and I had a chance to have a good heart to heart with Benson. For those of you who don't know Benson, he's our drummer.
The kids are getting cuter by the day.. and some of them are getting more annoying by the day.. but mostly cuter. Especially the girls for some reason. The boys are sort of at that age when they are starting to get that competitive / mean thing coming out, which I guess most boys go through. I had to threaten one boy with being banned from the Zunga after I made the comment that Tristan (T-Man) gets the best air in camp, and the boy said it was because he is "humongous". Definately not cool.
Its funny I didn't notice it when I was that age, but its true what they say about girls being years ahead of boys in terms of emotional development. Most of them are quite easy to talk to and social, and also a lot braver than a lot of the boys. Its funny - we are having a name the band contest so that the campers can give us a name, so all day kids have been coming up to me with their band name submissions. Most of the names we've been getting are along the lines of "The Christian Rockers" or "God's rockers", but this one girl gave me the name I really hope we end up going with, because it was so bizarre and also hilarious. It was "Spicey Hot Fire Hydrants". I don't where she came up with it, but we all couldn't help but have a good chuckle about it.
I had a chance today to go to one of the cabins to help the kids with their memory verses, and the cabin leader asked me to help this boy named Roderick. He was having a really hard time with a verse was actually quite long for a 10 year old boy I would think. But within about 10 minutes I had him saying the whole thing, no problems. Then I asked him what his favourite thing was at camp and he said the Zunga, so I walked down to the Zunga with him and watched him take a swing.
Oh yeah, and today was my turn washing pots and pans in the kitchen. The head potwasher is a guy named Jim who is an old army buddy of Ron's, so Ron was warning me all day about Jim war flashbacks. His sage advice to me was to have one of the giant wooden mixing spoons ready to knock him on the head, should I see "that glint in his eyes". Fortunately that wasn't necessary :) It wasn't as bad as I had imagined it might be, though I literally felt as though I had just gotten out of the lake by how much I had been sweating in that big rubber apron. Fortunately, the first thing I did when I was done was to ... take a swing on the Zunga! There's really no better way to feel refreshed after a long shift of something like that.
Evening chapel was fun as well as we got to have it outside down by the water in their outside chapel. The sound was good down there and Ron kindly suggested that I crank the living crap out of my amp. Of course I happily obliged. Those kids sure love The Happy Song.
The majority of the rest of my evening has been spent trying to get askaninja.com to load (at Ben's request) - its a freakin hilarious site that I was introduced to today. I had a group of like 5 people (cabin leaders and other worker types) watching with me, but apparently the summer staff are downloading a movie, which makes the entire network slow and often inaccessible, which is also the cause of my lack of updates for most of the day.
Anyway, I'm going to save this now and hope the dag-gum thing works. Ciao!
Relaxation: Good
Fingers: Rallying
Stings from unidentified insect type beast: 1
Number of hops: Several
Pots / Pans Washed: A babillion
Swings on the Zunga: 5 or 6
Another good day at camp - the heat was significantly lower today than in previous days and overall it was just a nice temperature all around. Sleep was about 2 million times better than previously experienced and I had a chance to have a good heart to heart with Benson. For those of you who don't know Benson, he's our drummer.
The kids are getting cuter by the day.. and some of them are getting more annoying by the day.. but mostly cuter. Especially the girls for some reason. The boys are sort of at that age when they are starting to get that competitive / mean thing coming out, which I guess most boys go through. I had to threaten one boy with being banned from the Zunga after I made the comment that Tristan (T-Man) gets the best air in camp, and the boy said it was because he is "humongous". Definately not cool.
Its funny I didn't notice it when I was that age, but its true what they say about girls being years ahead of boys in terms of emotional development. Most of them are quite easy to talk to and social, and also a lot braver than a lot of the boys. Its funny - we are having a name the band contest so that the campers can give us a name, so all day kids have been coming up to me with their band name submissions. Most of the names we've been getting are along the lines of "The Christian Rockers" or "God's rockers", but this one girl gave me the name I really hope we end up going with, because it was so bizarre and also hilarious. It was "Spicey Hot Fire Hydrants". I don't where she came up with it, but we all couldn't help but have a good chuckle about it.
I had a chance today to go to one of the cabins to help the kids with their memory verses, and the cabin leader asked me to help this boy named Roderick. He was having a really hard time with a verse was actually quite long for a 10 year old boy I would think. But within about 10 minutes I had him saying the whole thing, no problems. Then I asked him what his favourite thing was at camp and he said the Zunga, so I walked down to the Zunga with him and watched him take a swing.
Oh yeah, and today was my turn washing pots and pans in the kitchen. The head potwasher is a guy named Jim who is an old army buddy of Ron's, so Ron was warning me all day about Jim war flashbacks. His sage advice to me was to have one of the giant wooden mixing spoons ready to knock him on the head, should I see "that glint in his eyes". Fortunately that wasn't necessary :) It wasn't as bad as I had imagined it might be, though I literally felt as though I had just gotten out of the lake by how much I had been sweating in that big rubber apron. Fortunately, the first thing I did when I was done was to ... take a swing on the Zunga! There's really no better way to feel refreshed after a long shift of something like that.
Evening chapel was fun as well as we got to have it outside down by the water in their outside chapel. The sound was good down there and Ron kindly suggested that I crank the living crap out of my amp. Of course I happily obliged. Those kids sure love The Happy Song.
The majority of the rest of my evening has been spent trying to get askaninja.com to load (at Ben's request) - its a freakin hilarious site that I was introduced to today. I had a group of like 5 people (cabin leaders and other worker types) watching with me, but apparently the summer staff are downloading a movie, which makes the entire network slow and often inaccessible, which is also the cause of my lack of updates for most of the day.
Anyway, I'm going to save this now and hope the dag-gum thing works. Ciao!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Camp Journal : Day Three (Part 2)
Exhaustion Factor: High
Heat Stroke: Negative.. so far
Fingers: Still hangin' on
Number of swims: 2 (5 if you count my swings on the Zunga)
Number of children shot with water gun: Too many to count.
So anyway, day is almost come to a close now, and I am pretty tired I'll admit. It has been a busy day! The water is still great, and I've been making as much use of it as possible, but I'd say hands-down my favourite thing today was running the Zunga, which is a big rope swing that tosses you into a deep part of the lake. All the kids love it, and it was especially cool to see the same kids coming back again and again, starting from their first time (which inevitable resulted in belly/back flops or faces full of lake water) into being confident and competent Zunga'ers.
There was one boy in particular who has stood out to me for some reason. Probably because he reminds me of me at that age. He comes from what I have to assume is a wealthy family - his dad is a professional motorcycle racer (How's that for a "my dad is cooler than your dad" trump card eh?), and he was telling about his family's 48 foot boot that they travel around to various islands in all the time. Also they are thinking of sending him to school in Ottawa. He seems to be okay with that, but he didn't really answer when I asked how he felt about it.
Anyway, he reminds me of myself because he is a little on the chubby side, like I was, and one can tell he has a little bit of a self-esteem issue, though he seems to be the quiet comtemplative type rather than the in-your-face attention getting type - again, much like me.
What really impressed me was his approach to the Zunga. He had a tough time during the first free time period, and it seemed like no matter what he did he just couldn't hold onto the rope long enough to get anywhere. I can relate to that, I probably couldn't have either when I was 10. But Tristan (or T-Man, as I have taken to calling him) refused to give up, no matter how many giant faces full of water he got, and during the second free time, he came back, and again had some trouble. But then, much like I might have done, he gave it a little thought and figured out that if he stuck the knot at the end of the rope between his legs in a particular fashion (we all worried about the safety of his apparatus at this point), he could get a full swing and then jump off at the end, for massive air. Once he figured that out there was just no stopping the guy and he started to get creative, doing around-the-worlds and cannon-balls. Yeah, he suffered the odd back flop on occasion, which clearly stung like a mother-something, but he sucked it up and kept going.
I'd like to think it was at least partially due to my encouragement, but either way it was cool to see.
After that, there was a "wide game" in which the kids had to take paper "passports" around to various "countries" (stations) and get them stamped and they would get points for every full passport they brought back. The staff, however, were pirates with water guns who got to run around shooting the kids (and cabin leaders), and if a player was hit by a pirate one of their stamps would get crossed out and they would start again.
Anyway, at some point the cabin leaders revolted and started grabbing water guns for themselves and fighting back against the pirates. Much soaking of said pirates (myself included) ensued, and fun was had by all.
Our set tonight was incredible on many levels. We were just totally connecting as band and all of us were jumping up and down all throughout a bunch of songs, which the kids totally got into. I was so sweaty by the end of - actually our guitar player had to change his shirt, but I contented myself with three glasses of water and a little time outside :)
Dinner was great - roast beef, fries and veggies with gravy. Can't say no to that. And mug up, which I just recently partook of, consisted of delicious chicken wings..
So anyway, it is going well so far. Tomorrow I get to enjoy a 2 hour shift in the dish pit. Looking forward to that, not.
More tomorrow! Ciao!
Heat Stroke: Negative.. so far
Fingers: Still hangin' on
Number of swims: 2 (5 if you count my swings on the Zunga)
Number of children shot with water gun: Too many to count.
So anyway, day is almost come to a close now, and I am pretty tired I'll admit. It has been a busy day! The water is still great, and I've been making as much use of it as possible, but I'd say hands-down my favourite thing today was running the Zunga, which is a big rope swing that tosses you into a deep part of the lake. All the kids love it, and it was especially cool to see the same kids coming back again and again, starting from their first time (which inevitable resulted in belly/back flops or faces full of lake water) into being confident and competent Zunga'ers.
There was one boy in particular who has stood out to me for some reason. Probably because he reminds me of me at that age. He comes from what I have to assume is a wealthy family - his dad is a professional motorcycle racer (How's that for a "my dad is cooler than your dad" trump card eh?), and he was telling about his family's 48 foot boot that they travel around to various islands in all the time. Also they are thinking of sending him to school in Ottawa. He seems to be okay with that, but he didn't really answer when I asked how he felt about it.
Anyway, he reminds me of myself because he is a little on the chubby side, like I was, and one can tell he has a little bit of a self-esteem issue, though he seems to be the quiet comtemplative type rather than the in-your-face attention getting type - again, much like me.
What really impressed me was his approach to the Zunga. He had a tough time during the first free time period, and it seemed like no matter what he did he just couldn't hold onto the rope long enough to get anywhere. I can relate to that, I probably couldn't have either when I was 10. But Tristan (or T-Man, as I have taken to calling him) refused to give up, no matter how many giant faces full of water he got, and during the second free time, he came back, and again had some trouble. But then, much like I might have done, he gave it a little thought and figured out that if he stuck the knot at the end of the rope between his legs in a particular fashion (we all worried about the safety of his apparatus at this point), he could get a full swing and then jump off at the end, for massive air. Once he figured that out there was just no stopping the guy and he started to get creative, doing around-the-worlds and cannon-balls. Yeah, he suffered the odd back flop on occasion, which clearly stung like a mother-something, but he sucked it up and kept going.
I'd like to think it was at least partially due to my encouragement, but either way it was cool to see.
After that, there was a "wide game" in which the kids had to take paper "passports" around to various "countries" (stations) and get them stamped and they would get points for every full passport they brought back. The staff, however, were pirates with water guns who got to run around shooting the kids (and cabin leaders), and if a player was hit by a pirate one of their stamps would get crossed out and they would start again.
Anyway, at some point the cabin leaders revolted and started grabbing water guns for themselves and fighting back against the pirates. Much soaking of said pirates (myself included) ensued, and fun was had by all.
Our set tonight was incredible on many levels. We were just totally connecting as band and all of us were jumping up and down all throughout a bunch of songs, which the kids totally got into. I was so sweaty by the end of - actually our guitar player had to change his shirt, but I contented myself with three glasses of water and a little time outside :)
Dinner was great - roast beef, fries and veggies with gravy. Can't say no to that. And mug up, which I just recently partook of, consisted of delicious chicken wings..
So anyway, it is going well so far. Tomorrow I get to enjoy a 2 hour shift in the dish pit. Looking forward to that, not.
More tomorrow! Ciao!
Camp Journal : Day Three (Part 1)
So here I am, sitting on a wooden chair underneath the shade of shade of trees with a nice cool breeze coming off of the lake, which is about a stone's throw to my left. Hands down, the best place I've ever blogged from before :)
The day has been pretty good so far - up at 6:45 AM, which tricked me into thinking it may actually be cooler today than yesterday. Not so, by the way. We played a set during morning chapel which the kids seemed to like. Fingers are feeling marginally better, but I'm going to have to blitz it with alcohol swabs to try and get rid of the little blisters before they turn into big blisters.
Well, it looks like the lake just opened up for swimmers, so I guess that'll be all for now!
The day has been pretty good so far - up at 6:45 AM, which tricked me into thinking it may actually be cooler today than yesterday. Not so, by the way. We played a set during morning chapel which the kids seemed to like. Fingers are feeling marginally better, but I'm going to have to blitz it with alcohol swabs to try and get rid of the little blisters before they turn into big blisters.
Well, it looks like the lake just opened up for swimmers, so I guess that'll be all for now!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Camp Journal : Day Two (Part 2)
Heat Status: Hot as... well, hot anyway.
Finger Status: Tentative, starting to hurt, small blisters forming.
Fun Status: Good!
So yeah, today is just about over.. gotta be in bed with lights out at about 11:00pm. I really hope its a little cooler in there tonight because last night was just plain brutal.
Went swimming again today, which was great - exactly what was needed and very refreshing - the lake out here is great, and the water is the perfect temperature. Unfortunately we had to wait for awhile as all of the campers arrived today and had to have their swimming evaluation in order to receive a yellow wristband, which entitles them to use the deep part of the swimming area. Staff had to be evaluated as well, but I never did, so instead I signed a "Death Waiver". The way I figure, I'm going to go swimming either way, and if I die it really makes no difference whether I am wearing a yellow wristband or not.
The music went fairly well today - we played three times, once in the morning, for the staff, then in the afternoon, mercifully in the shade, while the campers were arriving. It was unplugged so I just sang and "played" the tambourine. Then we played again for the evening chapel. That doesn't include our 2 or 3 practices, however. I have to say that as hot as it might get in SPC on sunday mornings I have never felt heat like this while playing. I was worried for a few minutes that I might lose it, as I was sweating and just feeling overall not very good, but I made it through. Then I had diharrea afterwards. Yum!
Anyway, everyone is proving to pretty nice and in some cases super nice. The two music team people that I didn't know very well before are great and we are all getting along well and playing well together.
Did I mention that the food around here is really, really good? Last night we had turkey dinner, this morning eggs, sausage, bacon, etc, for lunch it was sandwiches and various forms of salad and for dinner it was spaghetti, caesar salad and foccacia bread. I'm liking it.
Well that's all I have to report for now.
Finger Status: Tentative, starting to hurt, small blisters forming.
Fun Status: Good!
So yeah, today is just about over.. gotta be in bed with lights out at about 11:00pm. I really hope its a little cooler in there tonight because last night was just plain brutal.
Went swimming again today, which was great - exactly what was needed and very refreshing - the lake out here is great, and the water is the perfect temperature. Unfortunately we had to wait for awhile as all of the campers arrived today and had to have their swimming evaluation in order to receive a yellow wristband, which entitles them to use the deep part of the swimming area. Staff had to be evaluated as well, but I never did, so instead I signed a "Death Waiver". The way I figure, I'm going to go swimming either way, and if I die it really makes no difference whether I am wearing a yellow wristband or not.
The music went fairly well today - we played three times, once in the morning, for the staff, then in the afternoon, mercifully in the shade, while the campers were arriving. It was unplugged so I just sang and "played" the tambourine. Then we played again for the evening chapel. That doesn't include our 2 or 3 practices, however. I have to say that as hot as it might get in SPC on sunday mornings I have never felt heat like this while playing. I was worried for a few minutes that I might lose it, as I was sweating and just feeling overall not very good, but I made it through. Then I had diharrea afterwards. Yum!
Anyway, everyone is proving to pretty nice and in some cases super nice. The two music team people that I didn't know very well before are great and we are all getting along well and playing well together.
Did I mention that the food around here is really, really good? Last night we had turkey dinner, this morning eggs, sausage, bacon, etc, for lunch it was sandwiches and various forms of salad and for dinner it was spaghetti, caesar salad and foccacia bread. I'm liking it.
Well that's all I have to report for now.
Camp Journal : Day Two (Part 1)
As predicted, sleeping was a bit of a pain. I swear the temperature around here was only marginally lower when I went to bed than it was during the day, and my cheap-o Wal-Mart itchy-blanket and sweaty-pillow certainly didn't help much. That combined with the rubber "mattress" and the fact that our door was open with red light from the nearby 'Exit' sign made falling asleep a tricky endeavour at best. I was worried at first that the loud fan noise coming from across the hall would also be a problem, but the giant fan (we all had our doors open) mercifully shunted some air our way, and I think the white noise helped somewhat.
In any case, here I am, showered and en-spikened, looking out over a beautifully serene lake surrounded by wooded mountains with the melodic sound of "John the Revelator", as sung by Dan, echoing out of the Alder Grove Room behind me. Life could be a lot worse.
Did I mention that the food around here is pretty good? We had turkey dinner last night with mashed potatoes, stuffing and two different kinds of salad, and apple crumble with vanilla ice cream for dessert. Yeah, I'm really suffering, seriously.
:)
In any case, here I am, showered and en-spikened, looking out over a beautifully serene lake surrounded by wooded mountains with the melodic sound of "John the Revelator", as sung by Dan, echoing out of the Alder Grove Room behind me. Life could be a lot worse.
Did I mention that the food around here is pretty good? We had turkey dinner last night with mashed potatoes, stuffing and two different kinds of salad, and apple crumble with vanilla ice cream for dessert. Yeah, I'm really suffering, seriously.
:)
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Camp Journal : Day One (Part 1)
It has been an interesting day, and not just the Camp part either. The day started much as I would have thought it would - waking up at home and giving Lisa a quick ride to work. I lounged around for awhile and packed and then went to have lunch with Lisa on her break, and took the dog. While we were having lunch this cute little black lab puppy (maybe about a year old) comes wandering down the street, minus owner. I thought she had been with someone but then the guy just ditched her and she was wandering around downtown Sidney all confused.
So, long story short, after we realized that her owner was not coming for her, Lisa and I decided we would bring her to our house until someone claimed her. Poor thing - Baron doesn't seem to like her much, although I think being that was leashed to the table and unable to move anywhere he was feeling defensive, and at one point he bit her on the nose, and gave her a little war wound, that doesn't seem too serious. When I left for camp, little 'India' as I have dubbed her, was tied up in our backyard in the shade, with some water. Sweet little thing.. I kinda hope nobody claims her, if I'm being honest.
So anyway, the ride up to camp was pretty well what one would expect in a van with windows that don't really work and no A/C. I was informed on the way up that apparently there was going to be no bedding - we were supposed to bring our own. Apparently I missed that memo, funny that no one mentioned it both times the camp staff met. Anyway, I ended up stopping off at a Wal-Mart in Duncan and bought a cheap sheet, blanket and pillow as well as a towel, which was another thing I had been assuming they would have. So yeah, anyway it should all work out now.
As I was saying, the van ride was, shall we say warm, but not as bad as could have been expected, despite the fact that today was one hell of a scorcher. 34 degrees or something crazy like that. Once we got here it got better though, however the temperature in my room seems like it may be prohibitive in regards to sleeping. We'll see.
If you see a post on here at 2Am you'll know there's a problem. Much to my delight, however, I've discovered that there is wireless internet here, so I'll be able to keep in touch when I'm not playing bass, manning the lake-swing thing, or performing any of the other various duties given to the music team. Also, I should get a fair amount of time to do some writing, which is why I brought the laptop up here to begin with.
Speaking of fun, I just got back from having a dip in the lak which, after the van ride, equipment setup and just generally overbearing heat up here, was a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Well, that's about it for now, I may post again later.. as if anyone even reads this anymore :/
So, long story short, after we realized that her owner was not coming for her, Lisa and I decided we would bring her to our house until someone claimed her. Poor thing - Baron doesn't seem to like her much, although I think being that was leashed to the table and unable to move anywhere he was feeling defensive, and at one point he bit her on the nose, and gave her a little war wound, that doesn't seem too serious. When I left for camp, little 'India' as I have dubbed her, was tied up in our backyard in the shade, with some water. Sweet little thing.. I kinda hope nobody claims her, if I'm being honest.
So anyway, the ride up to camp was pretty well what one would expect in a van with windows that don't really work and no A/C. I was informed on the way up that apparently there was going to be no bedding - we were supposed to bring our own. Apparently I missed that memo, funny that no one mentioned it both times the camp staff met. Anyway, I ended up stopping off at a Wal-Mart in Duncan and bought a cheap sheet, blanket and pillow as well as a towel, which was another thing I had been assuming they would have. So yeah, anyway it should all work out now.
As I was saying, the van ride was, shall we say warm, but not as bad as could have been expected, despite the fact that today was one hell of a scorcher. 34 degrees or something crazy like that. Once we got here it got better though, however the temperature in my room seems like it may be prohibitive in regards to sleeping. We'll see.
If you see a post on here at 2Am you'll know there's a problem. Much to my delight, however, I've discovered that there is wireless internet here, so I'll be able to keep in touch when I'm not playing bass, manning the lake-swing thing, or performing any of the other various duties given to the music team. Also, I should get a fair amount of time to do some writing, which is why I brought the laptop up here to begin with.
Speaking of fun, I just got back from having a dip in the lak which, after the van ride, equipment setup and just generally overbearing heat up here, was a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Well, that's about it for now, I may post again later.. as if anyone even reads this anymore :/
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
And now, the Question burning in the Hearts and Minds of Christendom all across the globe: Who will be the next Kingdom of Heaven Idol??!!
Yes, it really is the burning question on the hearts and minds of Christians all over, and apparently has been since the beginning, when the original twelve asked this very same question of Jesus. So, who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven, anyway?
Jesus didn't have any qualms about calling them out, either:
"Then he said, "I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." Matt 18: 3-4
Maybe this is why I always feel so irked when I see the quintessential professional pastor with his dark suits, silk ties and perfectly coiffed and inhumanly perky wife, standing in front of ten-thousand people in a gigantic amphitheatre of a church (the cost of which probably could have built housing for 50,000 orphans in Africa or something, I might add), trying so hard to be such a grown up.
It is the very same "spirit", if you will, as what one sees in the typical catholic priest - the self-declared "father", who arrogantly believes himself a more perfect vessel of God's word than the simple parishoners whose calling it is to treat him like the mini-God of his cathedral, imparting blessings and taking them away, forgiving sins or not, as he sees fit.
Sometimes I really believe that the God I believe in is a vastly different kind of being than the thing that most Christians worship .. and if I didn't know better I would think that hardly anyone ever actually read the gospels, but instead subsist on things they have heard about it, or the officially sanctioned doctrines of their "church".
Clearly, Jesus is not interested in all the pomp and ceremony, he just wants someone who will put his arms up and say "Abba!". I struggle with this, with being a child, sometimes, though I make it an intentional habit to always be myself when I am at church, or being in the company of Christians. I very specifically do not dress myself up, or make my spikes one iota smaller, for the occassion, because this is who I am, and that is what God wants.
Because at the end of the day, we are NOT contestants on any kind of Idol show, and it is not the opinions of some celestial Simon Cowell, nor the votes of the rest of Christendom that will determine our path or success. On American Idol, the contestants have to exist behind masks of popular culture and live at the mercy of whatever America is into this week. The ones who really make a stand for what they believe in never make it to the end, and that's a shame, because there is more value in one artist doing what they really love, than a thousand American Idols working for America's collective approval.
Similarly, there is more to be said for one raggamuffin, fringey, disenfranchised soul, giving up his meagre gifts back to God and being happy in that, than in a thousand professional evangelists with their expensive churches, expensive images and expensive spouses.
Jesus didn't have any qualms about calling them out, either:
"Then he said, "I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." Matt 18: 3-4
Maybe this is why I always feel so irked when I see the quintessential professional pastor with his dark suits, silk ties and perfectly coiffed and inhumanly perky wife, standing in front of ten-thousand people in a gigantic amphitheatre of a church (the cost of which probably could have built housing for 50,000 orphans in Africa or something, I might add), trying so hard to be such a grown up.
It is the very same "spirit", if you will, as what one sees in the typical catholic priest - the self-declared "father", who arrogantly believes himself a more perfect vessel of God's word than the simple parishoners whose calling it is to treat him like the mini-God of his cathedral, imparting blessings and taking them away, forgiving sins or not, as he sees fit.
Sometimes I really believe that the God I believe in is a vastly different kind of being than the thing that most Christians worship .. and if I didn't know better I would think that hardly anyone ever actually read the gospels, but instead subsist on things they have heard about it, or the officially sanctioned doctrines of their "church".
Clearly, Jesus is not interested in all the pomp and ceremony, he just wants someone who will put his arms up and say "Abba!". I struggle with this, with being a child, sometimes, though I make it an intentional habit to always be myself when I am at church, or being in the company of Christians. I very specifically do not dress myself up, or make my spikes one iota smaller, for the occassion, because this is who I am, and that is what God wants.
Because at the end of the day, we are NOT contestants on any kind of Idol show, and it is not the opinions of some celestial Simon Cowell, nor the votes of the rest of Christendom that will determine our path or success. On American Idol, the contestants have to exist behind masks of popular culture and live at the mercy of whatever America is into this week. The ones who really make a stand for what they believe in never make it to the end, and that's a shame, because there is more value in one artist doing what they really love, than a thousand American Idols working for America's collective approval.
Similarly, there is more to be said for one raggamuffin, fringey, disenfranchised soul, giving up his meagre gifts back to God and being happy in that, than in a thousand professional evangelists with their expensive churches, expensive images and expensive spouses.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
The Animal I Have Become
I don't know why, but this song speaks to me, and I think these are feelings that we can all echo on some level. It doesn't hurt that the song friggin' rocks as well ^_^
Three Days Grace - The Animal I Have Become
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
I can't escape myself
So many times i've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this animal
Three Days Grace - The Animal I Have Become
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
I can't escape myself
So many times i've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this animal
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Jesus, the Hater??!!
I cannot believe what I am seeing on the news today. Or, rather, I can believe it, and it makes me feel disgusted with "Christianity" on behalf of non-believers everywhere. This is disgraceful, and I cannot believe that any person who claims to believe in and follow the teachings of Christ and the Gospel could do something so insensitive and hateful as this in the name of something so petty as persecuting gay people. Not EVEN persecuting gay people, in fact, but persecuting straight people in lieu of gay people. Straight people who are mourning the loss of loved ones, no less. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/06/btsc.lavandrera.funerals/index.html
So what these so-called "Christians" would have us believe is that Christ came all this way down to Earth, and shed his blood to cover ALL the sins of the world so that his followers can take up the holy mission of driving around the country protesting the FUNERALS of dead soldiers, not because they were gay even, but because they fought for America and America accepts gay people. These are dead mean with families - wives, children and parents.
"You can't preach the Bible without preaching the hatred of God." says the self-described "old-time" pastor who leads the various members of his family on his hateful crusade against what? Grieving wives and mothers? My hat is off to you, Reverend Phelps, you are a true soldier of God. When called you to put on your army hat and go kick those poor orphaned children in the teeth, you accepted without a moment's hesitation! You sir, are as Christlike as they come!
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged." Matt 7:1-2
I really hope it is.. I really hope it is.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Smoke, Mirrors and Popoff
Just to let you know, I'm not actually going to waste an entire post on Peter Popoff (believe me, the guy ain't worth it), but moreso to address the spirit in which people like Peter Popoff are operating.
Its funny how much applicable truth you can find in the Bible if you look just a little bit. Some of you who know me may have noticed that I can get a little bit caught up in being frustrated over all of the irrationally blind things that people do because they are deceived to the truth that a lot of Christians (including myself, apparently) take for granted.
The latest big thing, of course, was my pseudo-political rant about the whole Danish/Moslem cartoon thing (the violence continues to escalate, I might add), which, though I still find it entirely unbelievable, I am well aware that the existance of religious double-standards should come as no surprise - the spirits run deep in this kind of thing, and the world can't help but be deceived. I guess that is sort of the definition of "the world" in a lot of ways. And it doesn't come as a surprise, but like many things, it irks me. Yes it does, and its not alone.
Something that has mystified, infuriated and frustrated me in equal parts since time immemorial is the existance and apparent power of the charlatan: the psychics, the mediums and the phony faith healers. All are operating under the same premise and power, namely the devil. All depend upon the fragile emotions of hurting people to add digits to their bank accounts and worst yet, all of these pervert and twist the character of God, preventing their victims from ever knowing the REAL father, and from knowing true freedom. For those who see through these sheisters, they are often lumped together with real believers and thus the gap is widened between the skeptics and the truth.
I think the worst of these, in my mind, are the phony faith healers (ala Peter Popoff). Deceitful men (and women - Peter Popoff's wife is a key player in his deceptions) who call upon the name of Jesus to "heal" people, while gluing their hands firmly into the pockets of their followers. And yet there are circumstances in which they demonstrate the power to produce the signs, wonders and in some cases miracles to back up their lies. Why? How can these deceivers have the power to do such things? This is a question that has always bothered me. I was always under the impression that only Christ could empower people to do things like that, and it bugged me.
Funny how, after reading a mere 7 chapters into the gospels that this, like a great many of the irksome things that go on in the world, that this very thing is so directly addressed by Jesus. Check this out (I love the way the NLT puts this):
21"Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as `Lord,' but they still won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven. 22On judgment day many will tell me, `Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.' 23But I will reply, `I never knew you. Go away; the things you did were unauthorized.' " Matt 7:21-23
I love that - "the things you did were unauthorized". That just sums it up so perfectly for me. So, to sum it up - Peter Popoff, Reverend Moon, Miss Chloe, Ramtha and all the rest of the devil-powered miracle workers in the world may be able to do some genuinely amazing things, but without the authorization that comes from Christ for such things, all they really have is a lot of smoke and mirrors.
Its funny how much applicable truth you can find in the Bible if you look just a little bit. Some of you who know me may have noticed that I can get a little bit caught up in being frustrated over all of the irrationally blind things that people do because they are deceived to the truth that a lot of Christians (including myself, apparently) take for granted.
The latest big thing, of course, was my pseudo-political rant about the whole Danish/Moslem cartoon thing (the violence continues to escalate, I might add), which, though I still find it entirely unbelievable, I am well aware that the existance of religious double-standards should come as no surprise - the spirits run deep in this kind of thing, and the world can't help but be deceived. I guess that is sort of the definition of "the world" in a lot of ways. And it doesn't come as a surprise, but like many things, it irks me. Yes it does, and its not alone.
Something that has mystified, infuriated and frustrated me in equal parts since time immemorial is the existance and apparent power of the charlatan: the psychics, the mediums and the phony faith healers. All are operating under the same premise and power, namely the devil. All depend upon the fragile emotions of hurting people to add digits to their bank accounts and worst yet, all of these pervert and twist the character of God, preventing their victims from ever knowing the REAL father, and from knowing true freedom. For those who see through these sheisters, they are often lumped together with real believers and thus the gap is widened between the skeptics and the truth.
I think the worst of these, in my mind, are the phony faith healers (ala Peter Popoff). Deceitful men (and women - Peter Popoff's wife is a key player in his deceptions) who call upon the name of Jesus to "heal" people, while gluing their hands firmly into the pockets of their followers. And yet there are circumstances in which they demonstrate the power to produce the signs, wonders and in some cases miracles to back up their lies. Why? How can these deceivers have the power to do such things? This is a question that has always bothered me. I was always under the impression that only Christ could empower people to do things like that, and it bugged me.
Funny how, after reading a mere 7 chapters into the gospels that this, like a great many of the irksome things that go on in the world, that this very thing is so directly addressed by Jesus. Check this out (I love the way the NLT puts this):
21"Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as `Lord,' but they still won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven. 22On judgment day many will tell me, `Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.' 23But I will reply, `I never knew you. Go away; the things you did were unauthorized.' " Matt 7:21-23
I love that - "the things you did were unauthorized". That just sums it up so perfectly for me. So, to sum it up - Peter Popoff, Reverend Moon, Miss Chloe, Ramtha and all the rest of the devil-powered miracle workers in the world may be able to do some genuinely amazing things, but without the authorization that comes from Christ for such things, all they really have is a lot of smoke and mirrors.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Babbling in Tongues?
Okay, this is MEANT to be a shorty, in my mind. We'll see how it actually plays out.
So, I feel as though I have often been criticised (perhaps not vocally, and perhaps it is mostly myself that is to blame) for being less visual about my faith, or not as emotively engaged in worship.
Admittedly, I'm not that comfortable with overt signs of outward emotion in this regard, and I can't pin down exactly why that is. It comes out in my relationships - most people who know me can probably tell you that I tend not to react to things a lot of the time, whether they be negative or positive things. If a close friend tells me about something great they have accomplished, I am not the person who is going to jump up and down and scream with excitement, though I am likely doing so inside for them. The same could be said about tragedy - if somebody close to me were to die, I probably wouldn't cry or be outwardly distressed about it, whatever I feel on the inside. Again, not sure why - I think part of it may be the result of me having been damaged at some point in my life.
What I am learning though, is that a lot of this simply is because this is the way that I am. I do things and process things differently than a lot of people - I prefer quiet, inward (and usually slow) contemplation over outward manifestations of joy. I derive greater satisfaction from really chewing something over and appreciating it in my mind than I do in blowing off steam. If this sometimes gives off the impression that I am being disingenuous, well that bothers me, because I'm really not!
As I started off saying, this translates largely into my spiritual life - I'm not the throwing-my-hands-up-in-the-air-halleluiah! kind of person. I've tried, and it doesn't feel natural - it just isn't me. I don't particularly like getting in front of a group of people and spiritualizing, or blubbing or falling over or whatever it is that people apparently are supposed to do when they are being "spiritual".
Me, I think about things a lot. I have often wondered if something was wrong with me (as, I am aware, have others), however it brings me great pleasure and contentment to read these words of Jesus and know that he knew where I am coming from.
"And now, about prayer. When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I assure you, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
"When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them, because your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" Matt 6:5-8
So, I feel as though I have often been criticised (perhaps not vocally, and perhaps it is mostly myself that is to blame) for being less visual about my faith, or not as emotively engaged in worship.
Admittedly, I'm not that comfortable with overt signs of outward emotion in this regard, and I can't pin down exactly why that is. It comes out in my relationships - most people who know me can probably tell you that I tend not to react to things a lot of the time, whether they be negative or positive things. If a close friend tells me about something great they have accomplished, I am not the person who is going to jump up and down and scream with excitement, though I am likely doing so inside for them. The same could be said about tragedy - if somebody close to me were to die, I probably wouldn't cry or be outwardly distressed about it, whatever I feel on the inside. Again, not sure why - I think part of it may be the result of me having been damaged at some point in my life.
What I am learning though, is that a lot of this simply is because this is the way that I am. I do things and process things differently than a lot of people - I prefer quiet, inward (and usually slow) contemplation over outward manifestations of joy. I derive greater satisfaction from really chewing something over and appreciating it in my mind than I do in blowing off steam. If this sometimes gives off the impression that I am being disingenuous, well that bothers me, because I'm really not!
As I started off saying, this translates largely into my spiritual life - I'm not the throwing-my-hands-up-in-the-air-halleluiah! kind of person. I've tried, and it doesn't feel natural - it just isn't me. I don't particularly like getting in front of a group of people and spiritualizing, or blubbing or falling over or whatever it is that people apparently are supposed to do when they are being "spiritual".
Me, I think about things a lot. I have often wondered if something was wrong with me (as, I am aware, have others), however it brings me great pleasure and contentment to read these words of Jesus and know that he knew where I am coming from.
"And now, about prayer. When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I assure you, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.
"When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again. Don't be like them, because your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" Matt 6:5-8
Friday, February 10, 2006
/rant off
I feel compelled to offer apologies for the level of vitriol that came out of my previous little rant there.. what started out as a simple venting of frustrations quickly turned into a monster of the kind of scale previously only achieved by Godzilla, or perhaps Mothra.
In any case, I am loathe to continue feeding the rant monster with the bloody carcasses of my dearest friends, so I am turning him off. That's right, off. Thanks to the incredible technology contained in my monster control collar I can deactivate the beast within with a few simple keystrokes. So in the name of Peace, Democracy and Friendly Banter --
/rant off
In any case, I am loathe to continue feeding the rant monster with the bloody carcasses of my dearest friends, so I am turning him off. That's right, off. Thanks to the incredible technology contained in my monster control collar I can deactivate the beast within with a few simple keystrokes. So in the name of Peace, Democracy and Friendly Banter --
/rant off
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I don't mean to be an alarmist, but..
.. what in the hell is wrong with people??!
I am so bloody sick and tired of how much ridicule Christianity garners around the world - what is it that we ever did to make so many people so badly deride us? Yes, I can understand that some people like to think they don't believe in God, or maybe they believe in a different god, or maybe they think that people who believe in God are doing so as a mean of allaying our fear of death or fate.
I can understand those attitudes, I really can. But why, oh why, do so many people put so much effort into mocking and ridiculing Christianity? Why is it that anytime a muslim imam, or a hindu priest, or a buddhist monk is depicted on TV or the movies, they are played by talented dramatic actors and portrayed as wise, deeply spiritual and sagely, with unshakeable faith and hearts of gold, while the vast majority of Christians one sees are all played for laughs by some moronic, barely-even-qualifies-as-comedic character actor and portrayed as hyper-spastic, time-forgotten, patriarchal, domineering, under-handed and closed-minded familial dictators who subscribe to extreme forms of corporal punish administered to the entire family, all accompanied by the most red-neck inspired southern accent imaginable??!!
Even better is when the character actor in question is an outspoken atheist, anti-Christian, gay activist(the kind that believe that all people are really gay inside and that all church related notions are complete garbage), etc, etc, and the Christian or Minister character is a closet homosexual/pedophile/mysogynist/all of the above. And people eat it up - they think its absolutely hilarious! "How dare those dang Christians act all sacred about their beliefs?!" one might ask.
I suppose it should be no surprise when I heard that Britney Spears was slated to appear on Will & Grace as the ridiculous host of a "Christian" cooking show called "Cruci-fixin's", in an episode in which a Christian broadcaster takes over a gay-themed TV Network and starts making changes to the roster. http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/01/people.spears.ap/
And surprise, surprise a group described as a "Conservative Christian Organization" lodged a complaint, for which they were, subsequently derided by the public. Hell, if I was in a position to lodge a complaint, I would too - its ridiculous that they can get away with that, and even more-so that Christians come off looking like the closed-minded bad guy in the scenario. But did we stage a riot, or burn the American flag, or attacked the U.S. embassy in protest?! No - we lodged a complaint. What a bunch of jerks we are.
Seriously though, I don't even want to imagine the kind of religio-political backlash that might occur if, for instance, some independant newspaper published a funny cartoon about the prophet Muhammed - after all, while Muhammed may be no more sacred to his respective followers than Christ is to his, Muhammed, being a muslim prophet, must be taken seriously at all times, unlike anything related to Christianity.
Just imagine the chaos - my conservative (not really, but you see my point) Christian mind can conceive of unimaginable numbers of angry letters written to that newspaper, and maybe even peaceful protests by Danish muslims outside the doors of their office. This is a serious issue. Heck, I might even write a letter to the government of Denmark just to make sure that my opinions were heard.
Apparently, though, when you are a muslim and your beliefs have been mocked, you have a lot more in your arsenal than words to fling against those who have insulted you with words or cartoons. It is apparently somehow justified for muslims to burn Danish flags and attack / set fire to Danish embassies (apparently any European embassy is fair game, now) with molotov cocktails and rocks and who knows what else. For some reason it is okay for them to stage massive riots and kill people as well. http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/07/cartoon.protests/index.html
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to colour all muslims as violent and insane - I've been friends with muslim people who I greatly respected and respect to this day, but I have to honestly wonder why the world is so caught up in making fun of Christians.
We may well be stuck up and religious and prideful and all of those other things, but no Christian I've ever heard of has ever flown an airliner into the side of a building, or organized suicide bombings for no other reason than to kill as many of the heathens as we can. People may call the United States under President Bush a theocracy, but hey, unlike some Islamic states (Saudi Arabia, for on), they haven't started imprisoning, torturing and publicly beheading people of other religions quite yet.
And so I remain, baffled by the idiocy that is public opinion. In all honesty, I do not believe that Christians are better people than people of other religions, or that we are somehow less capable of doing horrible things, but the fact is that we AREN'T doing those horrible things, and yet the world still delights in hating us. I suppose Jesus warned us, but when I see things like this Will & Grace fiasco side-by-side with this Danish Cartoon thing on the news, and the Christians are still made to look like the bigger idiots, I just can't help but be a little bit confused.
Thank you for tolerating my incoherent rantings and ravings. I promise I'll get better :)
I am so bloody sick and tired of how much ridicule Christianity garners around the world - what is it that we ever did to make so many people so badly deride us? Yes, I can understand that some people like to think they don't believe in God, or maybe they believe in a different god, or maybe they think that people who believe in God are doing so as a mean of allaying our fear of death or fate.
I can understand those attitudes, I really can. But why, oh why, do so many people put so much effort into mocking and ridiculing Christianity? Why is it that anytime a muslim imam, or a hindu priest, or a buddhist monk is depicted on TV or the movies, they are played by talented dramatic actors and portrayed as wise, deeply spiritual and sagely, with unshakeable faith and hearts of gold, while the vast majority of Christians one sees are all played for laughs by some moronic, barely-even-qualifies-as-comedic character actor and portrayed as hyper-spastic, time-forgotten, patriarchal, domineering, under-handed and closed-minded familial dictators who subscribe to extreme forms of corporal punish administered to the entire family, all accompanied by the most red-neck inspired southern accent imaginable??!!
Even better is when the character actor in question is an outspoken atheist, anti-Christian, gay activist(the kind that believe that all people are really gay inside and that all church related notions are complete garbage), etc, etc, and the Christian or Minister character is a closet homosexual/pedophile/mysogynist/all of the above. And people eat it up - they think its absolutely hilarious! "How dare those dang Christians act all sacred about their beliefs?!" one might ask.
I suppose it should be no surprise when I heard that Britney Spears was slated to appear on Will & Grace as the ridiculous host of a "Christian" cooking show called "Cruci-fixin's", in an episode in which a Christian broadcaster takes over a gay-themed TV Network and starts making changes to the roster. http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/01/people.spears.ap/
And surprise, surprise a group described as a "Conservative Christian Organization" lodged a complaint, for which they were, subsequently derided by the public. Hell, if I was in a position to lodge a complaint, I would too - its ridiculous that they can get away with that, and even more-so that Christians come off looking like the closed-minded bad guy in the scenario. But did we stage a riot, or burn the American flag, or attacked the U.S. embassy in protest?! No - we lodged a complaint. What a bunch of jerks we are.
Seriously though, I don't even want to imagine the kind of religio-political backlash that might occur if, for instance, some independant newspaper published a funny cartoon about the prophet Muhammed - after all, while Muhammed may be no more sacred to his respective followers than Christ is to his, Muhammed, being a muslim prophet, must be taken seriously at all times, unlike anything related to Christianity.
Just imagine the chaos - my conservative (not really, but you see my point) Christian mind can conceive of unimaginable numbers of angry letters written to that newspaper, and maybe even peaceful protests by Danish muslims outside the doors of their office. This is a serious issue. Heck, I might even write a letter to the government of Denmark just to make sure that my opinions were heard.
Apparently, though, when you are a muslim and your beliefs have been mocked, you have a lot more in your arsenal than words to fling against those who have insulted you with words or cartoons. It is apparently somehow justified for muslims to burn Danish flags and attack / set fire to Danish embassies (apparently any European embassy is fair game, now) with molotov cocktails and rocks and who knows what else. For some reason it is okay for them to stage massive riots and kill people as well. http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/07/cartoon.protests/index.html
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to colour all muslims as violent and insane - I've been friends with muslim people who I greatly respected and respect to this day, but I have to honestly wonder why the world is so caught up in making fun of Christians.
We may well be stuck up and religious and prideful and all of those other things, but no Christian I've ever heard of has ever flown an airliner into the side of a building, or organized suicide bombings for no other reason than to kill as many of the heathens as we can. People may call the United States under President Bush a theocracy, but hey, unlike some Islamic states (Saudi Arabia, for on), they haven't started imprisoning, torturing and publicly beheading people of other religions quite yet.
And so I remain, baffled by the idiocy that is public opinion. In all honesty, I do not believe that Christians are better people than people of other religions, or that we are somehow less capable of doing horrible things, but the fact is that we AREN'T doing those horrible things, and yet the world still delights in hating us. I suppose Jesus warned us, but when I see things like this Will & Grace fiasco side-by-side with this Danish Cartoon thing on the news, and the Christians are still made to look like the bigger idiots, I just can't help but be a little bit confused.
Thank you for tolerating my incoherent rantings and ravings. I promise I'll get better :)
Friday, January 20, 2006
There's Passion, and then there's PASSION
A friend of mine who is teaching a young adult's class on the topic of Passion, asked me for my thoughts on the subject just a few minutes ago, and I thought I would share those on here as well.
It is interesting actually that just last night I attended a talk on the subject of the Importance of Male Friendships, and the speaker (Mr. David Bentall) explained that he really isn't a very relational person - he describes himself as a "Task-Oriented Functionary" who had to put a lot of effort into learning how to build and maintain a frienship. It is a concept that I think applies to all kinds of things, including this.
So here is what I told my friend about Passion:
* * *
I think the idea of passion is highly misunderstood by most people as being simply a strong feeling about something, but I think there is a lot missing from that definition. Passion, to me, involves two things, one of them is the emotional feeling you have about whatever it is you are passionate about. Of course, feelings of passion cause you to feel excited and moved by whatever it is, which is important, but not always necessary. The other part of passion involves commitment and practice.
I'm sure that somewhere in a person's mind they recognize these two things, but in my experience, 99% of the people on earth seem to emphasize FEELING passionate or being passionately committed, and I think that in reality this is very backwards. Ideally, both of those things should be present, but if you have to have one without the other, committment will win every time.
Case in point - my writing. I felt very passionate about the idea of writing a novel for probably 5 or 6 years. I pondered it passionately and dreamt about it passionately and talked about it passionately with other people. I even gave myself the title of "writer" or "novelist" during that period. And yet, for all my feelings of passion, I hadn't written a single word of my book. With that kind of passion alone, I could never succeed at the very thing I was most passionate about, because I would never get it off the ground.
There came a point where I thought to myself "okay - I have all these passionate ideas about what I'd like to write, but for some reason I just haven't done it - I need to learn how to make this more than just something I feel passionate about, but also something that I DO passionately." So I started my blog and made a start. I had forced myself to put something in place that would force me to DO something with my passionate feelings. But it wasn't enough. At the rate I was going, it would take me 30 years to finish my book, because my feelings of passion for it ebbed and flowed, as they must do naturally. When they were flowing, I'd write like a madman, and when they were ebbing I'd be on hiatus for weeks or months at a time.
And this is where I taught myself to not only feel passionately about what I was doing, but to passionately commit to it. I committed to devoting every lunch hour I had to going around the corner to Radar's Roost and writing for that time. That simple act of committment has made all the difference, not only in the quantity and speed, but also in the quality of my writing.
My feelings of passion still come and go, but because I am passionately committed to what I am doing, I still get it done, every lunch hour. Every lunch hour, whether I feel like it or not, I go sit down with my laptop and I write. During times when both the feeling and the committment are working together wonderful things happen, but when the feeling is gone, the passion remains.
Love is a very similar idea. There are feelings of love, which come and go (after three years of marriage I can attest to the fact that those lovey-dovey feelings are absent more often than present a lot of the time), but the TRUE definition of love is not a feeling at all, it is a committment which remains.
People who have affairs often blame this on the "passion of the moment", but I think this is a complete cop-out. What they were feeling wasn't passion, it was lust, hormones and a lack of commitment not only to their spouse, but to the person they were sleeping around with and to God.
So I guess what I am saying is that in order for passion to endure, we do need to LEARN how to make it stay, even when we don't feel like it.
It is interesting actually that just last night I attended a talk on the subject of the Importance of Male Friendships, and the speaker (Mr. David Bentall) explained that he really isn't a very relational person - he describes himself as a "Task-Oriented Functionary" who had to put a lot of effort into learning how to build and maintain a frienship. It is a concept that I think applies to all kinds of things, including this.
So here is what I told my friend about Passion:
* * *
I think the idea of passion is highly misunderstood by most people as being simply a strong feeling about something, but I think there is a lot missing from that definition. Passion, to me, involves two things, one of them is the emotional feeling you have about whatever it is you are passionate about. Of course, feelings of passion cause you to feel excited and moved by whatever it is, which is important, but not always necessary. The other part of passion involves commitment and practice.
I'm sure that somewhere in a person's mind they recognize these two things, but in my experience, 99% of the people on earth seem to emphasize FEELING passionate or being passionately committed, and I think that in reality this is very backwards. Ideally, both of those things should be present, but if you have to have one without the other, committment will win every time.
Case in point - my writing. I felt very passionate about the idea of writing a novel for probably 5 or 6 years. I pondered it passionately and dreamt about it passionately and talked about it passionately with other people. I even gave myself the title of "writer" or "novelist" during that period. And yet, for all my feelings of passion, I hadn't written a single word of my book. With that kind of passion alone, I could never succeed at the very thing I was most passionate about, because I would never get it off the ground.
There came a point where I thought to myself "okay - I have all these passionate ideas about what I'd like to write, but for some reason I just haven't done it - I need to learn how to make this more than just something I feel passionate about, but also something that I DO passionately." So I started my blog and made a start. I had forced myself to put something in place that would force me to DO something with my passionate feelings. But it wasn't enough. At the rate I was going, it would take me 30 years to finish my book, because my feelings of passion for it ebbed and flowed, as they must do naturally. When they were flowing, I'd write like a madman, and when they were ebbing I'd be on hiatus for weeks or months at a time.
And this is where I taught myself to not only feel passionately about what I was doing, but to passionately commit to it. I committed to devoting every lunch hour I had to going around the corner to Radar's Roost and writing for that time. That simple act of committment has made all the difference, not only in the quantity and speed, but also in the quality of my writing.
My feelings of passion still come and go, but because I am passionately committed to what I am doing, I still get it done, every lunch hour. Every lunch hour, whether I feel like it or not, I go sit down with my laptop and I write. During times when both the feeling and the committment are working together wonderful things happen, but when the feeling is gone, the passion remains.
Love is a very similar idea. There are feelings of love, which come and go (after three years of marriage I can attest to the fact that those lovey-dovey feelings are absent more often than present a lot of the time), but the TRUE definition of love is not a feeling at all, it is a committment which remains.
People who have affairs often blame this on the "passion of the moment", but I think this is a complete cop-out. What they were feeling wasn't passion, it was lust, hormones and a lack of commitment not only to their spouse, but to the person they were sleeping around with and to God.
So I guess what I am saying is that in order for passion to endure, we do need to LEARN how to make it stay, even when we don't feel like it.
Friday, October 28, 2005
The Way we Were..
"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Eph 4:11-13
This is a picture of how the church was meant to work, and how it was conducted in its earliest (and purest) form. In modern circles it is referred to as the 5-fold ministry, or 5 areas of apointment (thanks to Richard for this little bit of commentary). Notice that each of the 5 assignements seems given to equal important, and in fact the language of the verse indicates (to me at least) that the body was meant to be run with each of these aspects in its proper focus. Just as a physical body cannot function without a brain, a heart, lungs, stomach and bowels, so the church cannot properly run without these five components working in their proper place.
The word 'pastor' used in this passage, by the way, is in the original greek - 'poimen' which means shepherd. This is a vastly different concept than the people we now know as 'pastors'. So what happened?!
99% of Christians go to a "church". 99% (not an exact statistic, but I would say it is a conservative estimate, if anything) of "churches" subsist on a "pastor" who teaches on sunday mornings and occasionally visits people throughout the week when they are sick, or to "touch base", but there isn't a really cohesive sense of actual pastoring (shepherding) between "pastor" and congregant unless there is a decided need for it, such as being sick, or with the recent and disturbing events at my usual gathering, which prompted our "pastor" to pay a visit.
Now don't get me wrong, I love our "pastor", and I think he does an incredibly good job at the role in which in he is in. I consider him a friend and a man of God, but having a relationship with a person that consists of seeing them once a week (and only if I decide to go to "church"), usually while they are preaching to the congregation, can hardly be considered the same as the shepherding relationship we see as being the pastor's role in the Bible. A Pastor is someone who exists in your day-to-day life as a mentor or a guide. Someone who really knows you and walks alongside. Clearly this is not what the modern-day "pastor" is for.
I get a picture of the new testament churches being extremely lively and unpredictable much of time, with new people constantly coming in to teach the congregation about new and exciting revelations of God. It was probably impossible to ever hear the same teaching twice because there was always something new happening in the spirit.
At the same time you would have prophets in the gathering who would be hearing from God and sharing this with gathering, or maybe praying over people IN the prophetic, and this would be every bit as important as the teaching. You would have evangelists who would be engaging unbelievers in RELATIONAL evangelism - being a friend and a helper and evangelising through everyday life first, and through words last, and only when needed.
There would be apostles (aka missionaries) and these would be sent out not only to other countries but into our own communities - into the slums and dark places, and all over, as God led. And then, walking alongside the congregation would be the pastors, quietly ministering, guiding and counselling those under his care, through life, not just through church services.
A very different dynamic exists today.
Instead of the original 5-fold ministry where everyone was annointed with one of the five appointments and each was just as important as all the others, albeit having different roles, we have turned it into a 1-fold ministry where the "pastor" is the king of the castle - a bastard cross of the biblical appointments of teacher/preacher and evangelist, while apostles, prophets and shepherds are generally relegated to the "lay-person" category, or don't really factor into the equation for most Christians.
In my life, there are pastors - people who walk alongside with an air of experience who not only serve as mentors and guides, but as friends and confidantes. People with whom I can share things that I would never tell a deacon, or an intercessor or even my "pastor". It would be nice if we could call apples apples and oranges oranges, and recognize the differences as well as the value of each in the balanced diet that should be our church. Personally, I'm tired of having a steady diet of macaroni and cheese, but I'll write more about that a little later.
This is a picture of how the church was meant to work, and how it was conducted in its earliest (and purest) form. In modern circles it is referred to as the 5-fold ministry, or 5 areas of apointment (thanks to Richard for this little bit of commentary). Notice that each of the 5 assignements seems given to equal important, and in fact the language of the verse indicates (to me at least) that the body was meant to be run with each of these aspects in its proper focus. Just as a physical body cannot function without a brain, a heart, lungs, stomach and bowels, so the church cannot properly run without these five components working in their proper place.
The word 'pastor' used in this passage, by the way, is in the original greek - 'poimen' which means shepherd. This is a vastly different concept than the people we now know as 'pastors'. So what happened?!
99% of Christians go to a "church". 99% (not an exact statistic, but I would say it is a conservative estimate, if anything) of "churches" subsist on a "pastor" who teaches on sunday mornings and occasionally visits people throughout the week when they are sick, or to "touch base", but there isn't a really cohesive sense of actual pastoring (shepherding) between "pastor" and congregant unless there is a decided need for it, such as being sick, or with the recent and disturbing events at my usual gathering, which prompted our "pastor" to pay a visit.
Now don't get me wrong, I love our "pastor", and I think he does an incredibly good job at the role in which in he is in. I consider him a friend and a man of God, but having a relationship with a person that consists of seeing them once a week (and only if I decide to go to "church"), usually while they are preaching to the congregation, can hardly be considered the same as the shepherding relationship we see as being the pastor's role in the Bible. A Pastor is someone who exists in your day-to-day life as a mentor or a guide. Someone who really knows you and walks alongside. Clearly this is not what the modern-day "pastor" is for.
I get a picture of the new testament churches being extremely lively and unpredictable much of time, with new people constantly coming in to teach the congregation about new and exciting revelations of God. It was probably impossible to ever hear the same teaching twice because there was always something new happening in the spirit.
At the same time you would have prophets in the gathering who would be hearing from God and sharing this with gathering, or maybe praying over people IN the prophetic, and this would be every bit as important as the teaching. You would have evangelists who would be engaging unbelievers in RELATIONAL evangelism - being a friend and a helper and evangelising through everyday life first, and through words last, and only when needed.
There would be apostles (aka missionaries) and these would be sent out not only to other countries but into our own communities - into the slums and dark places, and all over, as God led. And then, walking alongside the congregation would be the pastors, quietly ministering, guiding and counselling those under his care, through life, not just through church services.
A very different dynamic exists today.
Instead of the original 5-fold ministry where everyone was annointed with one of the five appointments and each was just as important as all the others, albeit having different roles, we have turned it into a 1-fold ministry where the "pastor" is the king of the castle - a bastard cross of the biblical appointments of teacher/preacher and evangelist, while apostles, prophets and shepherds are generally relegated to the "lay-person" category, or don't really factor into the equation for most Christians.
In my life, there are pastors - people who walk alongside with an air of experience who not only serve as mentors and guides, but as friends and confidantes. People with whom I can share things that I would never tell a deacon, or an intercessor or even my "pastor". It would be nice if we could call apples apples and oranges oranges, and recognize the differences as well as the value of each in the balanced diet that should be our church. Personally, I'm tired of having a steady diet of macaroni and cheese, but I'll write more about that a little later.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Absentee Poster??!
Okay, so it would appear I have been out of the blogging loop for quite some time, but I can explain - honestly I can!
A few updates..
I've been super busy at work - recently got promoted into a whole new arena and it is the busiest I have ever been since working here. Good, but hella busy!
Most of my free writing time has been spent on the novel, which has been renamed (permanently this time, I am fairly certain) to "Truestar's Fire". If I ever want to get anything published I've gotta put the nose to the grindstone in that area for sure.
Lisa and Ron and I went camping up at Strathcona (Ralph River) with Baron and had a jolly old time - Baron, as it turns out, is a capital swimmer, though I think we tired him out between all the of the kong retrieval, swimming and the icey cold glacier water, as he immediately demanded entry into our tent and slept for about 15 hours straight upon our return to camp.
Things within the community at SPC have started to see some redemption in areas that have been of great concern to me - this is truly a Godsend, but I will post more on that another time.
Also, Lisa and I are hopelessly addicted to CSI .. we've been renting the DVDs like they were going out of style and watched 6 episodes on saturday alone. That night I dreamt that I was part of the team. What can I say, it is a good show. Anyway, that's all for now.. I have some real meaty posts brewing that will hopefully be posted soon - stay tuned boys and girls!
A few updates..
I've been super busy at work - recently got promoted into a whole new arena and it is the busiest I have ever been since working here. Good, but hella busy!
Most of my free writing time has been spent on the novel, which has been renamed (permanently this time, I am fairly certain) to "Truestar's Fire". If I ever want to get anything published I've gotta put the nose to the grindstone in that area for sure.
Lisa and Ron and I went camping up at Strathcona (Ralph River) with Baron and had a jolly old time - Baron, as it turns out, is a capital swimmer, though I think we tired him out between all the of the kong retrieval, swimming and the icey cold glacier water, as he immediately demanded entry into our tent and slept for about 15 hours straight upon our return to camp.
Things within the community at SPC have started to see some redemption in areas that have been of great concern to me - this is truly a Godsend, but I will post more on that another time.
Also, Lisa and I are hopelessly addicted to CSI .. we've been renting the DVDs like they were going out of style and watched 6 episodes on saturday alone. That night I dreamt that I was part of the team. What can I say, it is a good show. Anyway, that's all for now.. I have some real meaty posts brewing that will hopefully be posted soon - stay tuned boys and girls!
Monday, August 15, 2005
A Sound of Thunder
Can you feel it? A deep rumbling coming from the very foundations of the Church. A change is on its way - a movement of God to usher his people into deeper relationship and deeper truth. Some are calling it the Next Reformation - just as the modern era ushered in the end of the domination of the Roman Catholic religion and the entry into denominational, charismatic expressions of Church, now the modern era has ended and we are being ushered into the post-modern. While the modern Church sought to erect artificial walls, structures and organizations (i.e. denominations) and started to "do church" instead of "be church", the post-modern now seeks to breaks those artificual structures apart - to effect relationships in place of divisions. Some people also use the image of a brand new generation of Church that is the process of Emerging - the state of being Emergent.
There is a kind of freedom involved - a step away from being religionists and toward being simply Christian. That is to say human, flawed, sinful - and yet forgiven, redeemed and related both to God and to each other. Instead of sunday-morning preaching (where a large group of people get together inside the walls of a building in order to act as audience while one person talks about what is on his or her heart) being the primary mode of expounding truth, the emphasis is starting to become focused on a conversation (a dialogue between two or more people that allows for the hearts of all involved to be expressed equally)- perhaps one that meanders throughout the week through emails or blogs, or by getting together with friends over dinner or coffee.
For just about a year now, I have been a part of "The Feast", which is an informal gathering of Christian people who just want to get together over coffee, sing some songs and talk about what is on our hearts this week. It has been remarkable to me how much more I get out of that simple meeting than I do out of sunday services at "church". Not that God is not moving within that community, but there is a feeling of boxiness about it. We have a great pastor who has a lot of really good things to say, but more often than not what is being preached on sunday doesn't meet me where I am at that day. Sometimes it meets me where I was at a month ago, or where I will be a month from now, and that's the problem - what is on my heart now needs to be addressed right now, and that can only happen through organic conversation among equals.
A few nights ago Lisa and I had our close friends, the Petries (Anna and Richard) over for steak and stuff (my new found BBQing skills we put to the test, but I rose to the challenge), and it was so good to just be able to (as Richard said) "let it all hang out." To talk about things that were going on in our lives - work, play, church, etc, all of it culminating in SNL's The Best of Will Ferrell Volume 1 ("I've got a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell! Say it babies!").
Over the past little while we have also had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with our friends the Coles (Ron, Colleen, Megan and Ashley), hanging out, watching movies, having coffee, eating chilli or trying to coax some semblance of service out of little seaside eateries. But most of all talking. There is a feeling of acceptance there - where we can say whatever we feel like saying, and they just listen. No judgements, no attempts at correction - just conversation. It felt so good to be able to just drawl on about our marital difficulties, fights and general dysfunction, or our sordid family histories and pasts (some of it, I will admit, is rather shocking) and NOT to get the usual knee-jerk reaction. Instead it is a feeling of knowing familiarity that says "yeah, we've been there too, in fact we're STILL there." That, to me, is what the idea of the conversation is all about.
We all have places in which we are right and strong, and places where we are wrong and weak. Conversation allows for us to understand where another soul is at in their walk and also be understood by others without having to become defensive about it. It allows for the ability to CHOOSE the right paths instead of being forced down them through shame and unacceptance of where we are right now. Richard said something quite insightly when speaking of a mutual friend - he said that though he did not always understand or agree with everything said by our friend, he chose to love him anyway, because "I see Christ in him."
So now the church of the modern era has a choice to make in the face of this oncoming shift into the post-modern era. The institution can choose to embrace God's deeper revelations and break down its own walls in preparation for the shaking of its foundation. Or it can build higher walls and large pillars and stubbornly hold onto an instituation that clearly (attendance in denominational churches has been dropping sharply since the 1970's) is in its death throes, and be broken in the upheaval.
This is starting to happen for me in a very personal way - my community is starting to be shaken in a very real and sometimes startling way. The cracks are starting to show in our walls and in our pillars, and the question remains - what will we do about it?
There is a kind of freedom involved - a step away from being religionists and toward being simply Christian. That is to say human, flawed, sinful - and yet forgiven, redeemed and related both to God and to each other. Instead of sunday-morning preaching (where a large group of people get together inside the walls of a building in order to act as audience while one person talks about what is on his or her heart) being the primary mode of expounding truth, the emphasis is starting to become focused on a conversation (a dialogue between two or more people that allows for the hearts of all involved to be expressed equally)- perhaps one that meanders throughout the week through emails or blogs, or by getting together with friends over dinner or coffee.
For just about a year now, I have been a part of "The Feast", which is an informal gathering of Christian people who just want to get together over coffee, sing some songs and talk about what is on our hearts this week. It has been remarkable to me how much more I get out of that simple meeting than I do out of sunday services at "church". Not that God is not moving within that community, but there is a feeling of boxiness about it. We have a great pastor who has a lot of really good things to say, but more often than not what is being preached on sunday doesn't meet me where I am at that day. Sometimes it meets me where I was at a month ago, or where I will be a month from now, and that's the problem - what is on my heart now needs to be addressed right now, and that can only happen through organic conversation among equals.
A few nights ago Lisa and I had our close friends, the Petries (Anna and Richard) over for steak and stuff (my new found BBQing skills we put to the test, but I rose to the challenge), and it was so good to just be able to (as Richard said) "let it all hang out." To talk about things that were going on in our lives - work, play, church, etc, all of it culminating in SNL's The Best of Will Ferrell Volume 1 ("I've got a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell! Say it babies!").
Over the past little while we have also had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with our friends the Coles (Ron, Colleen, Megan and Ashley), hanging out, watching movies, having coffee, eating chilli or trying to coax some semblance of service out of little seaside eateries. But most of all talking. There is a feeling of acceptance there - where we can say whatever we feel like saying, and they just listen. No judgements, no attempts at correction - just conversation. It felt so good to be able to just drawl on about our marital difficulties, fights and general dysfunction, or our sordid family histories and pasts (some of it, I will admit, is rather shocking) and NOT to get the usual knee-jerk reaction. Instead it is a feeling of knowing familiarity that says "yeah, we've been there too, in fact we're STILL there." That, to me, is what the idea of the conversation is all about.
We all have places in which we are right and strong, and places where we are wrong and weak. Conversation allows for us to understand where another soul is at in their walk and also be understood by others without having to become defensive about it. It allows for the ability to CHOOSE the right paths instead of being forced down them through shame and unacceptance of where we are right now. Richard said something quite insightly when speaking of a mutual friend - he said that though he did not always understand or agree with everything said by our friend, he chose to love him anyway, because "I see Christ in him."
So now the church of the modern era has a choice to make in the face of this oncoming shift into the post-modern era. The institution can choose to embrace God's deeper revelations and break down its own walls in preparation for the shaking of its foundation. Or it can build higher walls and large pillars and stubbornly hold onto an instituation that clearly (attendance in denominational churches has been dropping sharply since the 1970's) is in its death throes, and be broken in the upheaval.
This is starting to happen for me in a very personal way - my community is starting to be shaken in a very real and sometimes startling way. The cracks are starting to show in our walls and in our pillars, and the question remains - what will we do about it?
Monday, July 18, 2005
If These are the Pillars of the church, Its Time to Knock the House Down
Pillar: A tall cylindrical vertical upright and used to support a building or other structure.
In religious terms, the word 'pillar' is often used to describe a person within the organization ("the church") who has been in the "church" for a particularly long time and/or is a staunch supporter of the ideals of the congregation. Pillars usually enjoy a fair amount of influence, especially when it comes to the politics behind that generally define the denominational church's inner workings.
By 'politics' I mean this: In order to have any kind of say in what the typical denominational "church" does, what it stands for or what programs it offers, one must become a "member" of the "church" in order to receive the ability to vote on any of these things. Before one can become a "member" they usually are required to stand in front of the congregation and publicly commit to some kind of "church" creedo or agree to follow certain rules and uphold this or that.
By 'influence' I mean this: A pillar is usually one of these "members" and often has an inordinate ability to get what they want whenever a vote occurs on various issues that occur on a regular basis (i.e. whether or not to spend money on some new-fangled piece of technological wizardry or sell the antediluvian organ that has been gathering dust in the basement for a hundred years.) Another way that a pillar gains influence is by acting as a role model of sorts either by way of other members of the congregation who lift them into that position or by acting themselves as though they have won some kind of "Pentecostal Idol" competition.
Let us not forgot as well that there is power in numbers - a Pillar is rarely alone. It is not uncommon for an entire family to be the "pillars of the church", a scenario typified by the ability of someone to attend any random church event, throw a rock up into the air and have an extremely high probability of hitting someone from said family. This can also extend from family into cliques, and that is where the real fun begins.
A clique is very dangerous to the unity of the body because of the simply fact that a clique implies exclusivity, which is the opposite of inclusivity. If one can assume that inclusivity is necessary in order to have unity, then a clique is an extremely effective of shutting down unity. It goes beyond simply having a group of close friends that you hang out with all the time. I have one of those and it is a great thing. A clique is more like a social club that no one else is allowed to visit. Of course in a congregational setting, you can't really get away with overtly telling people to get lost (at least I certainly hope not), so a church clique does this in more subtle ways. Sure, they'll invite everyone to their prayer gatherings, worship services and dinner parties and maybe they'll even seem friendly for a little while. Until you do something that rubs their religious sensibilities the wrong way like say something controversial or wear too much (or too little) makeup, or have a foible of some kind. Then suddenly you find yourself wandering around in a daze seeing a lot of people's backs. But hey, we have a head office or a diocese to keep in mind - we can't let the inmates start running the asylum now can we?
So we come back to the pillars. As I said before, a pillar is something that we use to hold up a building or a structure. This could also be translated as "organization" or "institution". All of these words imply the putting up of walls, either to keep the bad people OUT of our "church", or perhaps to keep the good people IN?
So here is the question - what is the point of a ministry when revelation is replaced by church programs and submission to God is replaced by politics? How frightened should we be when a pastor's primary concern isn't leading his sheep to the place God has set out for them, but reporting to the organization about why he isn't meeting his goal for church membership and service attendance this month?
A pillar sounds great in theory, and as long as we keep the outside looking tall and strong - maybe slap on a new coat of paint every so often. But what happens when the insides are rotten? Eventually the ugly interior can no longer hide behind a new coat of paint, and the building threatens to topple. While the "faithful" rush to hold it up as if nothing at all were wrong, those who come truly seeking the face of God realize they aren't as safe as they thought they were, and they run for the hills.
What does the Bible tell us we are individuals, standing under the strength of personal virtue? Nothing. "God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. " (Ephesians 2:8-10)
What can we become as equal parts of the body of Christ? Everything. Conquerors. More than conquerors even. "..until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:13-16)
We need to pull down the dividing walls and stop raising people up into pillars. Smash down the little building that is "our church" and let the light of day back in. Then maybe we'd have something worth calling the church.
In religious terms, the word 'pillar' is often used to describe a person within the organization ("the church") who has been in the "church" for a particularly long time and/or is a staunch supporter of the ideals of the congregation. Pillars usually enjoy a fair amount of influence, especially when it comes to the politics behind that generally define the denominational church's inner workings.
By 'politics' I mean this: In order to have any kind of say in what the typical denominational "church" does, what it stands for or what programs it offers, one must become a "member" of the "church" in order to receive the ability to vote on any of these things. Before one can become a "member" they usually are required to stand in front of the congregation and publicly commit to some kind of "church" creedo or agree to follow certain rules and uphold this or that.
By 'influence' I mean this: A pillar is usually one of these "members" and often has an inordinate ability to get what they want whenever a vote occurs on various issues that occur on a regular basis (i.e. whether or not to spend money on some new-fangled piece of technological wizardry or sell the antediluvian organ that has been gathering dust in the basement for a hundred years.) Another way that a pillar gains influence is by acting as a role model of sorts either by way of other members of the congregation who lift them into that position or by acting themselves as though they have won some kind of "Pentecostal Idol" competition.
Let us not forgot as well that there is power in numbers - a Pillar is rarely alone. It is not uncommon for an entire family to be the "pillars of the church", a scenario typified by the ability of someone to attend any random church event, throw a rock up into the air and have an extremely high probability of hitting someone from said family. This can also extend from family into cliques, and that is where the real fun begins.
A clique is very dangerous to the unity of the body because of the simply fact that a clique implies exclusivity, which is the opposite of inclusivity. If one can assume that inclusivity is necessary in order to have unity, then a clique is an extremely effective of shutting down unity. It goes beyond simply having a group of close friends that you hang out with all the time. I have one of those and it is a great thing. A clique is more like a social club that no one else is allowed to visit. Of course in a congregational setting, you can't really get away with overtly telling people to get lost (at least I certainly hope not), so a church clique does this in more subtle ways. Sure, they'll invite everyone to their prayer gatherings, worship services and dinner parties and maybe they'll even seem friendly for a little while. Until you do something that rubs their religious sensibilities the wrong way like say something controversial or wear too much (or too little) makeup, or have a foible of some kind. Then suddenly you find yourself wandering around in a daze seeing a lot of people's backs. But hey, we have a head office or a diocese to keep in mind - we can't let the inmates start running the asylum now can we?
So we come back to the pillars. As I said before, a pillar is something that we use to hold up a building or a structure. This could also be translated as "organization" or "institution". All of these words imply the putting up of walls, either to keep the bad people OUT of our "church", or perhaps to keep the good people IN?
So here is the question - what is the point of a ministry when revelation is replaced by church programs and submission to God is replaced by politics? How frightened should we be when a pastor's primary concern isn't leading his sheep to the place God has set out for them, but reporting to the organization about why he isn't meeting his goal for church membership and service attendance this month?
A pillar sounds great in theory, and as long as we keep the outside looking tall and strong - maybe slap on a new coat of paint every so often. But what happens when the insides are rotten? Eventually the ugly interior can no longer hide behind a new coat of paint, and the building threatens to topple. While the "faithful" rush to hold it up as if nothing at all were wrong, those who come truly seeking the face of God realize they aren't as safe as they thought they were, and they run for the hills.
What does the Bible tell us we are individuals, standing under the strength of personal virtue? Nothing. "God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. " (Ephesians 2:8-10)
What can we become as equal parts of the body of Christ? Everything. Conquerors. More than conquerors even. "..until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:13-16)
We need to pull down the dividing walls and stop raising people up into pillars. Smash down the little building that is "our church" and let the light of day back in. Then maybe we'd have something worth calling the church.
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