Monday, July 31, 2006

Temporary Reprieve

Well we took Baron into the vet today with every intention of having the dirty deed done, but after talking with our vet and really evaluating how we were feeling and also how Baron has been, we've decided to wait a little while longer. From the vet's obervations and also from what we have told her of our own observations he is actually not suffering the way we had thought, and though he is, as she put it "handicapped", he isn't in pain and isn't really suffering in the way human beings might suffer from similar ailments.

It is true that he will probably not be around a whole heck of a lot longer before his back legs really become paralyzed, and that is definately where the line would be drawn for us. Anyway, for now, our old boy is alive and kicking. And we found his favourite toy, to. Amazing how a dog can perk up at the sight of his Koool Kong :)

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Home Sweet Home?

As anyone who has been reading may have noticed, I stopped camp journaling at Day 4, which was due to the flakiness of the wireless internet up at camp. Seems somebody installed a new antenna and nobody was able to connect wirelessly for some reason. So I will be attempting to summarize the last few days once I have had a little time to unpack it all myself.

It hasn't been a terribly easy transition, the coming home. I'm not a person who has a terribly easy time expressing or feeling comfortable with feeling a lot of emotions, but yesterday, and more last night I found myself unable to stop myself (much as I tried) from sobbing, even if I did do my best to hold my friggin breath to stop from sounding like it.

It was hard to say goodbye to the kids yesterday, especially a few of them in particular who I really connected with in a special way, and I'll admit I really felt like breaking down yesterday as they were leaving camp, but I sucked it up. The leaving, itself, was difficult - the routine over the last week is something I have come to depend on. Always somewhere to be and something to be doing, whether it be playing music for the kids or practicing, manning the Zunga (SO much fun), washing pots and pans or whatever else. And now that I'm gone there is a feeling of empty aimlessness.

I come home to find that my beautiful old dog, who my wife and I rescued at the ripe old age of 10, and who has been slowly succumbing to degenerative myelopathy (think of a doggy version of MS or ALS) has been rapidly going downhill in the week since I've been away, and now we have an appointment on monday to have him put down because it has become obvious that he just isn't happy in his own skin anymore. We love our dog, and I know that I personally have had a real struggle with the idea of putting him down because he isn't in any pain - he is just slowly becoming paralyzed. He poops and has now begun peeing on his own bed, or on the kitchen floor, unable to hold it or unaware of the need to due to the lack of feeling in his back-side. For a breed as proud and regal as the GSD, my wife points out, it must be a very shameful thing to go to the bathroom in ones own territory, and with no way to bury it or hide it from potential enemies. In other words, it probably drives him quite nuts. Whenever he does it there is a certain look of deep shame that comes over him, his ears droop down and sometimes he starts to shake as though we are going to yell at him or hit him. We never do, though, and never have, at least not for things like that which are out of his control.

As if that weren't enough, I get back from a week serving God in the best capacity I can think of, by minstering to kids, some of which whom really needed a week to just kick back and be kids and have fun, and also to have some exposure to a God who really loves them and wants them to know that. And what do I find but some hateful, left-leaning atheist creeps saying some really awful, hurtful and baseless accusations about Ron and myself, insinuating (or in Ron's case openly stating) their belief that only a pedophile would be "excited" about spending a week with children. Pardon my french, but WHAT THE FUCK??!! Where does this kind of self-indulgent trash get off saying this sort of thing about people he knows nothing about? I have to wonder what is wrong with a person whose natural assumptions are that all adults who enjoy spending time with children are also out to sexually abuse them. It actually creeps me out quite badly.

So yeah, a lot going on. A lot of really emotionally difficult stuff going on. Usually I have no problem being strong and stuffing it down, but I just feel like I'm being hit on all sides. Anyway, it isn't all bad, just really taxing and draining I guess. I'll write more about camp when I have a chance.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Camp Journal : Day Four (Part 1)

Energy: High
Relaxation: Good
Fingers: Rallying
Stings from unidentified insect type beast: 1
Number of hops: Several
Pots / Pans Washed: A babillion
Swings on the Zunga: 5 or 6

Another good day at camp - the heat was significantly lower today than in previous days and overall it was just a nice temperature all around. Sleep was about 2 million times better than previously experienced and I had a chance to have a good heart to heart with Benson. For those of you who don't know Benson, he's our drummer.

The kids are getting cuter by the day.. and some of them are getting more annoying by the day.. but mostly cuter. Especially the girls for some reason. The boys are sort of at that age when they are starting to get that competitive / mean thing coming out, which I guess most boys go through. I had to threaten one boy with being banned from the Zunga after I made the comment that Tristan (T-Man) gets the best air in camp, and the boy said it was because he is "humongous". Definately not cool.

Its funny I didn't notice it when I was that age, but its true what they say about girls being years ahead of boys in terms of emotional development. Most of them are quite easy to talk to and social, and also a lot braver than a lot of the boys. Its funny - we are having a name the band contest so that the campers can give us a name, so all day kids have been coming up to me with their band name submissions. Most of the names we've been getting are along the lines of "The Christian Rockers" or "God's rockers", but this one girl gave me the name I really hope we end up going with, because it was so bizarre and also hilarious. It was "Spicey Hot Fire Hydrants". I don't where she came up with it, but we all couldn't help but have a good chuckle about it.

I had a chance today to go to one of the cabins to help the kids with their memory verses, and the cabin leader asked me to help this boy named Roderick. He was having a really hard time with a verse was actually quite long for a 10 year old boy I would think. But within about 10 minutes I had him saying the whole thing, no problems. Then I asked him what his favourite thing was at camp and he said the Zunga, so I walked down to the Zunga with him and watched him take a swing.

Oh yeah, and today was my turn washing pots and pans in the kitchen. The head potwasher is a guy named Jim who is an old army buddy of Ron's, so Ron was warning me all day about Jim war flashbacks. His sage advice to me was to have one of the giant wooden mixing spoons ready to knock him on the head, should I see "that glint in his eyes". Fortunately that wasn't necessary :) It wasn't as bad as I had imagined it might be, though I literally felt as though I had just gotten out of the lake by how much I had been sweating in that big rubber apron. Fortunately, the first thing I did when I was done was to ... take a swing on the Zunga! There's really no better way to feel refreshed after a long shift of something like that.

Evening chapel was fun as well as we got to have it outside down by the water in their outside chapel. The sound was good down there and Ron kindly suggested that I crank the living crap out of my amp. Of course I happily obliged. Those kids sure love The Happy Song.

The majority of the rest of my evening has been spent trying to get askaninja.com to load (at Ben's request) - its a freakin hilarious site that I was introduced to today. I had a group of like 5 people (cabin leaders and other worker types) watching with me, but apparently the summer staff are downloading a movie, which makes the entire network slow and often inaccessible, which is also the cause of my lack of updates for most of the day.

Anyway, I'm going to save this now and hope the dag-gum thing works. Ciao!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Camp Journal : Day Three (Part 2)

Exhaustion Factor: High
Heat Stroke: Negative.. so far
Fingers: Still hangin' on
Number of swims: 2 (5 if you count my swings on the Zunga)
Number of children shot with water gun: Too many to count.

So anyway, day is almost come to a close now, and I am pretty tired I'll admit. It has been a busy day! The water is still great, and I've been making as much use of it as possible, but I'd say hands-down my favourite thing today was running the Zunga, which is a big rope swing that tosses you into a deep part of the lake. All the kids love it, and it was especially cool to see the same kids coming back again and again, starting from their first time (which inevitable resulted in belly/back flops or faces full of lake water) into being confident and competent Zunga'ers.

There was one boy in particular who has stood out to me for some reason. Probably because he reminds me of me at that age. He comes from what I have to assume is a wealthy family - his dad is a professional motorcycle racer (How's that for a "my dad is cooler than your dad" trump card eh?), and he was telling about his family's 48 foot boot that they travel around to various islands in all the time. Also they are thinking of sending him to school in Ottawa. He seems to be okay with that, but he didn't really answer when I asked how he felt about it.

Anyway, he reminds me of myself because he is a little on the chubby side, like I was, and one can tell he has a little bit of a self-esteem issue, though he seems to be the quiet comtemplative type rather than the in-your-face attention getting type - again, much like me.

What really impressed me was his approach to the Zunga. He had a tough time during the first free time period, and it seemed like no matter what he did he just couldn't hold onto the rope long enough to get anywhere. I can relate to that, I probably couldn't have either when I was 10. But Tristan (or T-Man, as I have taken to calling him) refused to give up, no matter how many giant faces full of water he got, and during the second free time, he came back, and again had some trouble. But then, much like I might have done, he gave it a little thought and figured out that if he stuck the knot at the end of the rope between his legs in a particular fashion (we all worried about the safety of his apparatus at this point), he could get a full swing and then jump off at the end, for massive air. Once he figured that out there was just no stopping the guy and he started to get creative, doing around-the-worlds and cannon-balls. Yeah, he suffered the odd back flop on occasion, which clearly stung like a mother-something, but he sucked it up and kept going.

I'd like to think it was at least partially due to my encouragement, but either way it was cool to see.

After that, there was a "wide game" in which the kids had to take paper "passports" around to various "countries" (stations) and get them stamped and they would get points for every full passport they brought back. The staff, however, were pirates with water guns who got to run around shooting the kids (and cabin leaders), and if a player was hit by a pirate one of their stamps would get crossed out and they would start again.

Anyway, at some point the cabin leaders revolted and started grabbing water guns for themselves and fighting back against the pirates. Much soaking of said pirates (myself included) ensued, and fun was had by all.

Our set tonight was incredible on many levels. We were just totally connecting as band and all of us were jumping up and down all throughout a bunch of songs, which the kids totally got into. I was so sweaty by the end of - actually our guitar player had to change his shirt, but I contented myself with three glasses of water and a little time outside :)

Dinner was great - roast beef, fries and veggies with gravy. Can't say no to that. And mug up, which I just recently partook of, consisted of delicious chicken wings..

So anyway, it is going well so far. Tomorrow I get to enjoy a 2 hour shift in the dish pit. Looking forward to that, not.

More tomorrow! Ciao!

Camp Journal : Day Three (Part 1)

So here I am, sitting on a wooden chair underneath the shade of shade of trees with a nice cool breeze coming off of the lake, which is about a stone's throw to my left. Hands down, the best place I've ever blogged from before :)

The day has been pretty good so far - up at 6:45 AM, which tricked me into thinking it may actually be cooler today than yesterday. Not so, by the way. We played a set during morning chapel which the kids seemed to like. Fingers are feeling marginally better, but I'm going to have to blitz it with alcohol swabs to try and get rid of the little blisters before they turn into big blisters.

Well, it looks like the lake just opened up for swimmers, so I guess that'll be all for now!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Camp Journal : Day Two (Part 2)

Heat Status: Hot as... well, hot anyway.

Finger Status: Tentative, starting to hurt, small blisters forming.

Fun Status: Good!

So yeah, today is just about over.. gotta be in bed with lights out at about 11:00pm. I really hope its a little cooler in there tonight because last night was just plain brutal.

Went swimming again today, which was great - exactly what was needed and very refreshing - the lake out here is great, and the water is the perfect temperature. Unfortunately we had to wait for awhile as all of the campers arrived today and had to have their swimming evaluation in order to receive a yellow wristband, which entitles them to use the deep part of the swimming area. Staff had to be evaluated as well, but I never did, so instead I signed a "Death Waiver". The way I figure, I'm going to go swimming either way, and if I die it really makes no difference whether I am wearing a yellow wristband or not.

The music went fairly well today - we played three times, once in the morning, for the staff, then in the afternoon, mercifully in the shade, while the campers were arriving. It was unplugged so I just sang and "played" the tambourine. Then we played again for the evening chapel. That doesn't include our 2 or 3 practices, however. I have to say that as hot as it might get in SPC on sunday mornings I have never felt heat like this while playing. I was worried for a few minutes that I might lose it, as I was sweating and just feeling overall not very good, but I made it through. Then I had diharrea afterwards. Yum!

Anyway, everyone is proving to pretty nice and in some cases super nice. The two music team people that I didn't know very well before are great and we are all getting along well and playing well together.

Did I mention that the food around here is really, really good? Last night we had turkey dinner, this morning eggs, sausage, bacon, etc, for lunch it was sandwiches and various forms of salad and for dinner it was spaghetti, caesar salad and foccacia bread. I'm liking it.

Well that's all I have to report for now.

Camp Journal : Day Two (Part 1)

As predicted, sleeping was a bit of a pain. I swear the temperature around here was only marginally lower when I went to bed than it was during the day, and my cheap-o Wal-Mart itchy-blanket and sweaty-pillow certainly didn't help much. That combined with the rubber "mattress" and the fact that our door was open with red light from the nearby 'Exit' sign made falling asleep a tricky endeavour at best. I was worried at first that the loud fan noise coming from across the hall would also be a problem, but the giant fan (we all had our doors open) mercifully shunted some air our way, and I think the white noise helped somewhat.

In any case, here I am, showered and en-spikened, looking out over a beautifully serene lake surrounded by wooded mountains with the melodic sound of "John the Revelator", as sung by Dan, echoing out of the Alder Grove Room behind me. Life could be a lot worse.

Did I mention that the food around here is pretty good? We had turkey dinner last night with mashed potatoes, stuffing and two different kinds of salad, and apple crumble with vanilla ice cream for dessert. Yeah, I'm really suffering, seriously.

:)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Camp Journal : Day One (Part 1)

It has been an interesting day, and not just the Camp part either. The day started much as I would have thought it would - waking up at home and giving Lisa a quick ride to work. I lounged around for awhile and packed and then went to have lunch with Lisa on her break, and took the dog. While we were having lunch this cute little black lab puppy (maybe about a year old) comes wandering down the street, minus owner. I thought she had been with someone but then the guy just ditched her and she was wandering around downtown Sidney all confused.

So, long story short, after we realized that her owner was not coming for her, Lisa and I decided we would bring her to our house until someone claimed her. Poor thing - Baron doesn't seem to like her much, although I think being that was leashed to the table and unable to move anywhere he was feeling defensive, and at one point he bit her on the nose, and gave her a little war wound, that doesn't seem too serious. When I left for camp, little 'India' as I have dubbed her, was tied up in our backyard in the shade, with some water. Sweet little thing.. I kinda hope nobody claims her, if I'm being honest.

So anyway, the ride up to camp was pretty well what one would expect in a van with windows that don't really work and no A/C. I was informed on the way up that apparently there was going to be no bedding - we were supposed to bring our own. Apparently I missed that memo, funny that no one mentioned it both times the camp staff met. Anyway, I ended up stopping off at a Wal-Mart in Duncan and bought a cheap sheet, blanket and pillow as well as a towel, which was another thing I had been assuming they would have. So yeah, anyway it should all work out now.

As I was saying, the van ride was, shall we say warm, but not as bad as could have been expected, despite the fact that today was one hell of a scorcher. 34 degrees or something crazy like that. Once we got here it got better though, however the temperature in my room seems like it may be prohibitive in regards to sleeping. We'll see.

If you see a post on here at 2Am you'll know there's a problem. Much to my delight, however, I've discovered that there is wireless internet here, so I'll be able to keep in touch when I'm not playing bass, manning the lake-swing thing, or performing any of the other various duties given to the music team. Also, I should get a fair amount of time to do some writing, which is why I brought the laptop up here to begin with.

Speaking of fun, I just got back from having a dip in the lak which, after the van ride, equipment setup and just generally overbearing heat up here, was a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Well, that's about it for now, I may post again later.. as if anyone even reads this anymore :/